News from Distended_Scrotum



TDA accidentally deposited money in my account 8 months ago. They just realized and now I owe them $20k

Shows the Chad Award and grants %{coin_symbol}100 Coins to the community. Exclusive to this community.

Shows the Bull Award and grants %{coin_symbol}100 Coins to the community. Exclusive to this community.

Everything is better with a good hug

When you follow your heart, love is the answer

I don't need it, I don't even necessarily want it, but I've got some cash to burn so I'm gonna get it.

Let's sip to good health and good company

Shows the Rest in Peace Award and grants %{coin_symbol}200 Coins to the community. Exclusive to this community.

An amazing showing.

[Happy crab noises]

OBJECTION!

The process of taking a painful L

Boldly go where we haven't been in a long, long time.

Call an ambulance, I'm laughing too hard.

Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.

Gives 100 Reddit Coins and a week of r/lounge access and ad-free browsing.

Thank you stranger. Shows the award.

When you come across a feel-good thing.

I'm in this with you.








My first yolo

Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.

Gives 700 Reddit Coins and a month of r/lounge access and ad-free browsing.

















  1. I personally like the bag in bag inventory. Inventory is something that normally bothers me in games because they're small enough that it doesn't change difficulty but wastes time. Ex. My base is on bottom of map, I go to top of map, find some stuff. My inventory is full. My choices are to leave the loot(not preferable as I'm a hoarder) or drive/walk all the way back to my base, unload, then go all the way back to the the top and back and forth and that becomes the game. Having a big fat inventory is much more satisfying. Then you go home and organize all the good stuff you got.

  2. Yeah dude, I’ve moved on to Project Zomboid and playing a little CIV 6 on the side. This game has potential, but I’m moving on.

  3. How much is a fair price for me to pay you for future insightful updates such as this one?

  4. I’m HONESTLY trying to give you my last fifteen (15) Reddit coins, and I cannot figure out how to do so. If you or others help me figure out how to, I hope you don’t go spending it on ribbon candy. I will give them if you help me figure out how to. Maybe since I’m the Reddit coin poor, Reddit doesn’t allow me to give such a low amount, but adjusted for inflation back in the 1920s, you’d be doing OK with 15 Reddit coins.

  5. Include a photo of your penis so we know its YOUR money and not someone else’s. We take identity fraud very seriously here at

  6. What he said, and be sure to include the balls and a copy of today’s newspaper too.

  7. The bank made an error in your favor, according to Monopoly rules, you get to keep it.

  8. A replica flintlock pistol and a resin/fake revolver. Yes, you are reading too much into it.

  9. After a while of using the UV light, you will get a knack for identifying uranium glass without it. I personally try to keep at least a small keychain size UV light on me, but there were times early on that I didn’t have it and should have taken a chance. I let a uranium glass shoe priced at $2 get away from me because I didn’t have my light early on and by the time I went back to the table a few minutes later to buy it, it was gone. Now if for some reason I don’t have my light, I’ll take a stab at something priced right, but my skill for identifying potential items is good enough without it. You’ll get there too!! Happy collecting!

  10. I got one unit, and it thankfully still works at my age, which is priceless.

  11. Honestly, immersive education is probably one of the more realistic applications of VR

  12. You have balls, and I know about these things. Giving mine an extra scratch for good luck for you.

  13. I’m investing heavy, this is one of my 4 platforms. Have elon send me his wife so I can dip into her as my shares have dipped.

  14. Keep your beef with him. Keep his wife and family out of it. I hear it’s classier to have a beef with someone that way. Maybe you’ll get more points in the long run. As a side note, I was attracted to this post because of the word “balls”. Balls. Invest better next time.

  15. The fuck does class have to do with watching this trust fund baby bungle and dumpster a 44 bil purchase as an excuse to sell TSLA after years of proclaiming to be man kind's savior and shepherd to the stars?

  16. Meh, his money, his choice. I’ve got my own problems, but TSLA ain’t one.

  17. You ain’t the AI, but YOU are sentient. Congrats! I know about balls. I like going balls deep in individual stocks and options. Now, where is John Connor?

  18. I try to stay Semper Scrotus (always on the ball) in matters such as these.

  19. Set aside 40% for short term capital gains tax. Reinvest 75% of the remainder in safer long-term plays, and take the other remaining 25% for very risky stuff. Good job!

  20. Pfft. I’ve spent 1K on scratch off tickets feeling luckier. My tax-man says to say I lost 1,001 after winning over 1K.

  21. I’ve got a heavily used twin mattress I’ll drop off behind the Wendy’s dumpster to get your business started.

  22. He won 75 million on his bet. Largest in sports betting history. He’s hardly in the mud.

  23. Holy shit, you can’t make this up. Inverse Cramer even works in sports.

  24. Some people hit it big and just disappear and be happy. Others hit it big and make a living preaching to the weak minded promising them they too can be rich. It doesn’t matter if they’re right or wrong at that point because they have already achieved independent wealth. Any extra money on top they earn from further preaching is just icing on top. That said, go Phillies! Also, if you want to be rich like me, send me $100 and I’ll tell you how (yeah, don’t… yet).

  25. He still owes me $15 (I only charged him half for the tattoo behind the dumpster).

  26. Message sent. I do not get alerts or stay online 24/7 so will be a delay in my replies if I am not on.

  27. She gave me her name and told me where she was from. But she handed the name of her social media info to my manager then it got thrown out. I don’t know how to spell her name so that messes up with searching for her

  28. Was she just a random person? Why was she at your job? Does your job keep visitor records? Type her name the best you can and google will autocorrect it to the best spelling and match. Since you know she lives in the same city as you, you can narrow it down further by typing her name (best you can) and your city, and see what pops up. Before anyone says that I sound like a creeper, I’m actually into family trees and ancestors and help find extended relatives this way.

  29. I think you need to set some goals to have your own place and have a steady relationship. Renting is just going to pay someone else’s 2nd mortgage and online girls are a dime a dozen. Try to find some truly meaningful investments both physically (your own house) and/or spiritually (a steady relationship).

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