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  1. This was what I struggled with until it got so bad if I didn't reach out the depression would become unbearable. Eventually I had a laundry list of so many occurrences that I talked to my doctor about it and what really did it was my failures in college. Talking about that led to my doctor questioning it and referring me to a psychiatrist, a bunch of failed visits later I got so tired of waiting for someone to suggest what I already suspected I scheduled testing at a psychologist myself. If you can, focus on the areas of your life that are affected that are easy for health professionals to dial in on and hopefully it helps. I still struggle to advocate for myself and I am still trying to get medication. It's such a long process and it's not easy, keep trying!

  2. I feel like when I was researching the TOVA test, the consensus was that it shouldn't be the only deciding factor in diagnosis. They usually use the questions and discussion material as the basis. If you feel strongly about the adhd part maybe write something down in advance and give it to them, or a virtual appointment, anything that makes you feel comfortable enough to talk in more detail. Anything. I was just recently diagnosed and it took me like a solid five years of suspecting and finally getting that appointment. I had to fight for it and I didn't even know if it was just depression, or laziness or any of that. There were a hundred times I just couldn't say it clear enough or advocate. The point is, if there's anything that makes you more comfortable to advocate— do it. For me, we focused more on my current symptoms and how they matched up, me recalling times in the past teachers had brought up my struggles was enough proof I had symptoms as a kid.

  3. I feel like the harder you fight the urge to listen to the one song on repeat the longer it takes to go away for me haha. I have kinda just accepted it and listen to the song I am really feeling for days/weeks until it subsides. I am also self conscious though so I have songs I consider "safe" to play around others so I get the struggle. The ten years grief period terrifies me because I am on year two of that from losing my Dad and I can't let it go. I don't understand it. Can't. Sorry if none of this makes sense, just shouting that I am feeling the same sentiments into the void so you know you're not alone.

  4. THIS. I am struggling with this right now at work, life, everywhere. Like at work, no matter how much I try to study others or learn better ways to do things, I somehow still inevitably mess up. And then it compounds because Ive failed at so many things that those little things send me spiraling. Im starting to get really bitter about it.

  5. The dreams are nice, but my subconscious has realized that my Dad is gone and now I just wait for a happy one where I hug him again or hear his voice. The first dream I had was a couple weeks after and everything was normal and he was alive and I just ran to him and was so damn happy. I told him I was so happy it was a dream, he can't be dead if he's here right now. He just hugged me while I cried, but he just looked sad, like he knew. That was one of the most vivid dreams I have ever had, but it was like my brain realized and my next one was me begging him to call 911 and save himself.

  6. I really hope you get a nice one soon, I think you will probably experience good and bad ones, I’ve had a definite mix over the last 4 years. Sending you love x

  7. Thank you, I hope so too

  8. I am struggling with this right now as well, it feels like a roller coaster of ups and downs. It's great to reminesce and remember fond memories, but minutes later I am hit by it all over again. I just want to go back in time. It's only been a month. That's amazing that you're following through and making that book, I am sure it will be something you treasure forever.

  9. Omniscient/omnipotent, ascertain, and amalgam.

  10. I have been struggling with this in my head at work and wondering why it just. Doesn't. Stop. Simple tiktok songs, one singular line from a show or a song will repeat when I don't have anything else to think about. Still working up the courage to ask my psychiatrist, rip.

  11. Save the number and the next time you get the urge to call or email do it before you can talk yourself out of it. Whatever you do, don't wait until you're at the end of your rope because the process takes FOREVER. Also, you can schedule the appointment in advance and relax after because you will probably have a long wait.

  12. Keep trying because I'm a stubborn bastard, fail, try again, keep pretending I'm learning something from these failures, try again. Sometimes I let myself wallow in it for a while and then try again.

  13. Everyday. It really gets me sometimes because then I start comparing and guilting myself for feeling bad for feeling bad and its like rinse and repeat over and over. I try to tell myself it's just my brain trying to make me feel bad, sometimes it helps me sometimes not.

  14. I can only imagine it's some combination of thinking since they overcame it, everyone else can just like them and that they hate how they acted/felt when they were depressed so they reject it even harder when they see it in other people.

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