News from merrysovery

  1. It is helpful to have a diagnosis because there are medications that can improve thinking abilities for a period of time. It’s also useful for planning - you’ve done some of that, but there will be other considerations as the disease progresses (possible memory care, nursing home, Medicaid planning, exploring values about end of life, etc)

  2. I’ve said this on here before, but one of those wheelchairs that is tilted back. They look

  3. That’s a tilt and space chair - it is not used to restrain a person but to help someone who has poor core strength/ability to hold themselves upright

  4. Talk to the psychiatrist at the rehab about a further tweak to the meds. "At the rehab" is a bit of a misnomer, they will have someone that visits once or twice a week. Normally, you dont want that person changing stuff willy nilly without input from your regular prescriber, but in this instance where the meds are not yet right, its a great opportunity to avoid nutty wait times for appointments. So ask at the rehab when they are coming, leave a detailed message for them, etc, etc. They wont automatically visit your mother if you dont request it.

  5. Most facilities will not use rails unless the person actively uses them for bed mobility; apparently they can lead to injuries. The reclining wheelchairs also aren’t used to stop someone from standing up - that would be a restraint. Where does this leave us? Staff should be watching nursing home/rehab patients, but we know every place is short staffed. It’s a horrible, unfair situation for everyone. dementia patients end up falling and injuring themselves, often starting a cascading functional decline that leads to death.

  6. Call the New York City Department for the Aging. It’s hard to answer your questions without knowing if your dad is on Medicaid or Medicaid eligible. Mom can also call Caring Kind for support and local resources.

  7. Ahhh you reminded me of this one time I was on the train, and a guy started to hit on me. When he found out that I’m a social worker, he asked if we could meet up and work on his disability paperwork together. Romance is not dead!

  8. Oh man. I'm in Trauma Burn ICU and people are always interested until I tell them that.

  9. Going off of that result, it is very possible that he could have a recurrence of his disease with that pattern of lymph node activity. Does he have a cancer doc/oncologist he follows with? I'm wishing the best of luck in the meantime!

  10. Thank you. He doesn’t have a cancer doc, he just started seeing a urologist. My husband has never been good about follow up care, and he had his initial surgery in another state. Is it concerning that there was physiological uptake in other parts of his body? Thank you again

  11. Thanks for sharing. I love Jordan’s support for other gymnasts!

  12. Hi, did they found out the cause of the spiculated lung nodule? my uncle was diagnosed with 5 lung nodules and one of the nodule is spiculated. I've been researching the internet for weeks now and everything I read about spiculated lung nodule is worrying, most Studies say that these nodules have a 90-100% predictive value of being cancerous. We are very concerned.

  13. This was helpful. My mom is being admitted on Wednesday, and I’m just so terrified she will immediately fall. And be so scared.

  14. They also have something like a 1 in 17 chance of committing suicide. And 40% of dementia caregivers die before the person with dementia. OP, please don’t kill yourself or become demented yourself! It will ruin your life, call APS, speak with your moms doctor etc and tell them you can no longer take care of her. If your mom is only 77, I’m guessing you are in your 30’s - 50’s. Get back to your career, you need to focus on your own health and future! I’m sure your mom will understand. And if she wouldn’t (before or after dementia), that’s her issue.

  15. Lots of sources citing the Stanford study that shows 40% of caregivers dying before the person with dementia, but I haven't found the actual study.

  16. Yeah, that’s not specific to dementia tho. Scary, isn’t it?

  17. Sadly, yes. My mom has spent around $9,000 per month since summer 2020 in NJ for care for my father. Service isn’t great. For a poor run down facility hits around $8,000. He’s in a room by himself, and then they strap him into a chair all day basically. Has a rotten tooth and they don’t shave him. Horrible disease and ever worse care. I wish I had better stories to share from our experience!

  18. I don't get a cocky vibe from any of the gymnasts. Like at all.

  19. You need to talk with an elder care attorney in your state. Guardianship practices vary quite a deal by locality (sometimes even within the same state).

  20. Maybe look for a therapist who specializes in grief. You can browse If you live in NY I can make more specific recommendations.

  21. i’m so scared they will berate me for grieving someone not dead yet. these past experiences have made me lose all trust in therapy and therapists.

  22. I’m so sorry. That’s awful. It can be hard to find a good therapist.

  23. Very timely. Recently developing this issue with my mom, and she wants me to constantly pay attention to what she’s trying to say. It usually makes no sense.

  24. If she’s still in the hospital, ask to speak with the social worker. I’m one and have written notes for family members before.

  25. Nothing has helped us with paranoia. I’m living in a state where she is frequently screaming, claiming that people are trying to kill her or me.

  26. When I worked in a nursing home, the daughter of a resident (never visited) would periodically ask for letters saying that she was working on discharging her mom back home. The daughter was living in the mom’s apartment; I believe it was subsidized. I had a few families who did this and I always obliged….except this daughter asked for a letter again 6 months after her mother died. When she called me to make the request, I was silent for a moment and then politely told her I wasn’t comfortable with writing that letter

  27. Are you asking how to get documentation from your family member’s adult day program? You will need a signed HIPAA release. Ask to speak with the person in charge of their medical records.

  28. Good god yes. To be 100% honest, as a rape survivor, a violent childhood abuse survivor (my father put me in the hospital at 8 months old to give you an idea), and a domestic violence survivor, I would rather relive every single horror I’ve endured up to this point than go through this with my beloved mom. This is the one thing I fear might utterly break me.

  29. ❤️‍🩹 I’m sorry for all the pain you have experienced in this world. I don’t understand why caregiver PTSD is not talked about more often. I’m so frustrated with reading about different dementia care techniques, ways to help people living with dementia - and next to nothing practical for caregivers. Where is the real support?

  30. She's currently on 5 different meds for everything from her pre-existing bi-polar disorder & depression to the current problems. It's no help.

  31. The neurologist isn’t going to force her into a nursing home. All they can really do is provide you with more medication. Your mom can go into a nursing home and apply for institutional Medicaid there. It sounds like she is still very able-bodies —- you can’t do this for years on end. It’s already killing you.

  32. Can we consider her able-bodied tho? She can't control her own meds, b/c after a few minutes she doesn't remember taking any & asks for more & accuses me of taking them. She can't make any food at all on her own. None at all. She melted a ramekin of French dressing in the microwave recently for no reason. Completely melted the little plastic ramekin & everything. Gone. Just a pile of goo on the microwave tray when I walked out of the room for 5 minutes. She can't drive. She can't operate a TV remote or a simple house phone. Can't get groceries. Can't walk around the block without guidance. Can't really put on her own shoes anymore. Once in a week she gets lucky & gets them on, but it's becoming more rare. Hides her money, tv remotes, phones, mail, dirty Kleenexes, shoes, etc all over the place & they're almost impossible to find. At this point she wipes her own butt, and I'm grateful for that, but she still calls me into the bathroom to look at her poops before she flushes.

  33. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. I haven’t been getting much sleep! What I meant was that she doesn’t sound frail and can potentially live for many years. This isn’t a tenable situation for you.

  34. What magical caregiver benefit is this? Do you mean FMLA?

  35. I'm not so much afraid, more that between her being extremely stubborn, and me not having a car or income.... Kinda hard to get her three miles through the snow to the local hospital.

  36. She needs to be hospitalized. It’s also dangerous to wean someone off alcohol without physician oversight - people can die from the withdrawal.

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