News from nibnibnibn

  1. Because the person you will be with won't think you are "trying to hard" this person who said that to you either 1 doesn't know how to communicate what they really want or 2 doesn't understand what someone to genuinely likes them will act like. Either way would not make a good partner. This is all based on the Info given

  2. I’ve never thought of the second thing you said! That makes sense!

  3. First off, just relax. You’re a young dude. It’s not the end of the world. I hate to be that guy, but your family is right - it’s just another girl. Sometimes people come in your life and sometimes people leave. Loss is something you have to learn to deal with, and you’ll come to see over the years that this loss really didn’t mean anything. At that age, not many people think family is that important, but they are, and you should spend more time with them and find something you really like to do and fill your time doing that instead of rethinking your entire life over a girl. She’s not gaslighting you, she’s not doing whatever these other people are saying, she’s just young and doesn’t quite know how to express herself that well and just didn’t want to be with you for whatever reason. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to tone it down a bit with your “caring”. I’m not saying to not care, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t suffocate people and immediately jump to being head over heels for someone, as could be the possible case here.

  4. It’s so weird though. I would have people telling me all the time that she wouldn’t shut up about me. She was like obsessed with me. Also whenever I did say something nice she would respond positively. Why didn’t she just say something?

  5. Learning how to move on and let go is part of the growing process. It sucks and is hard, but it is just the things that happen to prepare us for what's next in our lives, a different kind of crapy situation. I suffered a lot life got easier for me. Around 26 we all have to find our own way to cope with the peaks and valleys, which will mellow out with age and turn into rolling hills lol

  6. Idek what those decisions would be so hooray for me

  7. You have my sympathy for your struggles. Do you have someone you can talk to about this sort of stuff, like a therapist? Do you feel comfortable asking your parents or your friends' parents for some help?

  8. I’m looking for a therapist at the moment, yes.

  9. The only way you'll know if things will work with someone is to try. Many / most of them will fail and you'll need to start over from what feels like nothing, but the reality is you're not ever really starting over from nothing, you've lived an experience and that will give you perspective for the next relationship

  10. Nobody seems willing to try with me. Idk maybe they are and I just don’t see it.

  11. I don't really understand how people get "bored" in a romantic relationship.

  12. I guess since we’re teenagers are hormones are fucky and it makes us indecisive. Also idrk much about relationships, but I feel like it’s much deeper than two friends that fuck eachother

  13. You’ll be fine man. You have your whole life ahead of you, there’ll be a lot better girls that you meet and you’ll have that same feeling of love again. You’ll stop talking to some friends after school, you’ll be lifelong friends with some and you’ll also meet some new friends. Some people will just gel with you and others won’t. It’s ok. What’s important is that you always learn from past experiences, in this case, maybe you learn that you need to relax a bit in relationships because nobody likes to be suffocated.

  14. The thing is, she would always act like she liked the being nice. I wish she had just told me. I’m not mad at her leaving, but I am mad at her for being dishonest with me (that wasn’t the only lie)

  15. Less about how long, and more about finding ones who just aren't bad in the first place. Some personal examples:

  16. I know better than what I commented. I have this friend in the grade above me. We don’t talk often, so we spent the whole 3 hour long prom afterparty just talking. And not just about like tv shows or food, but like real deep life shit.

  17. Whatever the name is it looks like dog shit. Stevie Wonder could do a better job than that.

  18. How about seeing some girls too, while you are at it. Hey man, 17, they are all around you and they are all beautiful. Don't waste a single day feeling blue.

  19. I’ve got a prom date, we said we were going as friends but I think she might like me.

  20. Also they are all around me but they’re all into some other guy

  21. Not really, sorry. People tell me that but idk. I’m ashamed to say how long it’s been since she left. I have lost nearly all hope. I do drive, but I convinced my mom to get up with a therapist. She still isn’t taking me serious, but I just need the therapist to take me seriously.

  22. I'm a little confused by your second to last sentence. Have you thought of calling a therapist yourself though?

  23. I mean I don’t really care what my mom thinks about me wanting therapy. She’s willing to get a therapist, that’s all I needed her to do. All that matters is if the therapist helps or not. I have no idea how to make an appointment. Also I’m technically 16. I’ll turn 17 in a few weeks.

  24. It’s not just about feeling normal for me. I’m already a pretty unique person I’d say. But I see people together and they look so damn happy. I want that with someone. I know there’s other things in life that bring happiness, but I don’t think anything can bring as much happiness as loving someone. I didn’t mention this, but I did talk to a girl for a while. Every morning felt like Christmas, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than that short time.

  25. Depends, on a Bowhead Whale timeline, it is completely normal to not have a girlfriend at 17. It would be socially awkward. You'd be on a wanted poster at the Whale post office.

  26. That’s just women for you. They love torturing men for no apparent reason.

  27. I don’t really think you can just categorize all women like that. I think some people, male and female, are just shitty.

  28. You're focused on the here and now. But in the future you will meet more people, often when you least expect it. You're 17 - there's a whole lifetime still to be lived. I didn't start dating until I was in my 20s and went through periods of great success and also dry spells. I learned that both are always temporary.

  29. You're 17. You've barely got started in life.

  30. Yeah so I’m trying to go out into the real world without this shitty mindset

  31. At 25, that feeling never goes away fr fr. Best thing you can do now is work and save money because when you're 25 you'll feel the same, but at least you'll have money and hopefully a career if you use your time wisely

  32. What do you think are the main reasons that people don't like you, or like you but treat you this way?

  33. I have no idea. Maybe I don’t talk enough? I don’t really speak unless spoken to. Also all the boys in my grade play sports so they all have kinda like a brotherhood. I joined tennis but I felt like I didn’t belong.

  34. Well, people peak at different times of their lives. This might just be a low period for you. Millions of people look back on high school as the best years of their lives but millions more look back on it as a dreadful period of feeling like an outcast. For me it was pretty bad, but college was a blast and I really turned things around. If you're not feeling great about your friends and daily routine right now I would set your sights on the future....think more about what you'll want to be doing in a few years and start working now to make that time easier and better for you. For instance my neighbor wants to be a mechanic and spends all his free time after school working part-time and learning stuff at an auto shop. My sister wanted to be a writer and spent a lot of time reading and joined a book club. Tennis didn't work for you, try to find something you like at least, or something that will benefit your future.

  35. This all sounds good! Also I was originally gonna be tennis manager, but they didn’t need one, so I just practice with them and I’m kind of the unofficial manager at matches, but I don’t go all the time bc I don’t feel like they’re my people.

  36. So you were miserable when you were like 4?

  37. Ok sorry I was preoccupied when I sent that. I’ve only been miserable for the last 10 years

  38. Your age I was like you and now it’s all good don’t worry buddy

  39. I felt the same, when I was in high school. My high school was small, at the time. So everyone kind of knew each other. I felt invisible.

  40. I go to a tiny ass school and that’s exactly how I feel. Though I do sit at a table with people. I’m pretty well liked in my friend group because they think I’m funny, but that’s about it.

  41. Nothing is wrong with you. I myself don’t have an interest in sex either. I’m 23m and never had a girlfriend, and never put much effort into trying to have an intimate relationship.

  42. Oh I’m interested in sex. That’s why I don’t like all the sex in the media because it reminds me that I’m a virgin and I get upset about it. Even though I know that I shouldn’t worry about it at my age (or that’s what people tell me. The average age is 17.5 and I doubt much changes for me by then).

  43. I'm a bit confused here. You say that everything on social media is about sex and you're right but Are you frustrated cos you feel it's pressuring you to have sex?

  44. Ok so I don’t like the hypersexuality because it reminds me that I’m a virgin. I’m scared that I’ll remain like this forever because I feel inferior to my piers.

  45. There are wounds time won't heal but therapy might ... or time will over time ease the pain a little.

  46. Oh it was not 6 months, try a month and a half. It was short but she was very special to me

  47. This is going to sound batshit crazy to you in your current heartbroken state, but 10 years from now, you may well struggle to recall this girl's name. That's how effective time can be.

  48. You’re right that does sound batshit crazy. I’m sure I’ll be over her by then but she meant a lot to me, also she was my first.

  49. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders kid you don't sound stupid or out of touch. Moments like this will pass. Youl be fine

  50. Everyone tells me that, so it must be true! Also I don’t want to die anymore. I just have my moments throughout the day.

  51. I've dealt with a similar situation when I was your age. Right now, it feels like the worst moment of your life. While it seems almost unfathomable, things do get better, and you'll find your people.

  52. It helped, for now. I’m sure I’ll have my moments now and then where I want someone to come up behind me and shoot be in the back of the head again, though.

  53. If you’re 17, you’re probably on your way to college soon. Trust me, you’ll find someone new to date. Nobody there will know anything about you unless you tell them, you can start fresh, clean slate. Focus on joining clubs where you can meet like minded people, keep your dorm room door open to invite mingling for the first couple of months, exchange contact info with classmates to study together and you’ll meet so many new friends! It’s going to be great!

  54. I really hope you’re right. I can’t take much more of this!

  55. Okay so I’m 10 years older than you and I don’t even remember being 17. You will become 10 different people by the time you are my age. I’ve been suicidal, sooo unhappy and crying everyday and now I’m happy as a clam, and whatever boy was making me sad at that time I can’t even remember their name, and believe me I used to love deep too. I kept a diary of all my feelings when I was your age and sometimes I stumble upon it and laugh

  56. I know I said I lost all hope but I really do hope things get better. My aunt tried to kill herself over a boy in highschool, and now she’s on her second husband. I love deep, too. I cried one time just thinking about her, like an emotional overload.

  57. Okay this might not be the best advice but how I got over being dumped was chasing every girl I saw. That excitement helped me forget and feel better. Regardless of how you do it, distraction is your best tool for moving on. You want to show her that your life is awesome.

  58. Well I do that last part. I love being myself in front of her to show her what she lost. Even though I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be sad about what she lost since she left me. Also I’m gonna be the MC at our prom so she’s gonna have to watch me thrive on stage.

  59. OP, good for you BUT prepare yourself, just about the time you give up is when things happen.

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