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AITA for telling my husband to get over himself when he started berating me for not picking up his brother's son from school?

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

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AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me?

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AITA for taking away my stepdaughters phone?

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  1. The attitudes towards and expectations of child free friends and relatives drives me CRAZY. It’s 2022 - reproducing is not the only or most fulfilling track in life; people are not selfish or child-loathing if they don’t have them; and they are NOT obligated to parent your children to give you a break from a commitment you chose to take on - believe me, they have plenty to do in their own lives. Hard YTA. Wake up.

  2. I'll probably be down voted into hell but NTA. This is so typical, man makes a commitment and then expects his wife to shoulder it. 🙄 she was not consulted, and he agreed she would not be responsible for the kid. And now suddenly he needs her to pick the kid up, what next - I have to go in early why don't you take him to school etc etc. I think the anger he is showing is because he couldn't make her take care of this kid he volunteered her for.

  3. Honestly this was my first thought too. I’m surprised so many people are shouting this woman down without considering that her behaviour now may be the result of years of p*ss taking from him.

  4. You did speak to him privately, he promised it was for just you and then sent it anyway. He's an entitled and controlling a##hole. If he wanted to record the first moment of your child's life, fine, lovely (apart from him not being in the moment as he's too busy recording the moment). But there is no reason that the video has or should contain your privates as a human being exited your body. I have photos of the first moments of all my babies lives. The cord is still attached in all of them, but you can't see my genitals at all. Amazing how we managed it 🫤

  5. Yeah this is a divorceable offence in my book. How is this really that different to sharing nudes/revenge porn when you think about it - you can be prosecuted for that now. And the fact that his family don’t see the issue with it is a huuuuge red flag you’ll pay for all your life. NTA.

  6. It's the current conflict we far it's the biggest one. I feel weary and unable to argue anymore.

  7. I’m so happy you got to see this before you married him. Don’t do it to yourself.

  8. Peanut in my new leaf village, i was sad when NH launched and she wasn't part of the available villagers to begin with.

  9. Yes. It's a very very shitty situation I am suffering and worried I will hurt my baby if I don't get to sleep

  10. I really don’t want to kick the boot in at such a terrible time, but why did you have a child with this man when things have been difficult before this? Was it unplanned?

  11. I had an implant. When I found out, it was too late to terminate. When we saw her on the ultrasound we fell in love. We made things better. We got counseling it was going so well until the end of my pregnancy and her coming home.

  12. Oh goodness. You really do have my sympathy. Life has taught me though that sometimes having the bravery to go it alone is much better in the long run than staying in a situation like this. I hope you can find new chosen family in your future xo

  13. My ex-partner dumped me in what I thought was a state of overwhelm, but after some introspection realized his disconnect and space for the month and a half prior were hazard signs I missed. Once blindsided, my ex refused to see me or pick up my calls because he couldn't "face me". Two weeks later, I reached out and stated he owed me and this relationship a face to face closure, we met and closure was provided. His decision has never changed, and I doubt in the near future that it will. He is a stubborn man. It's been a month and a half.

  14. Same except I didn’t get that face to face conversation and they’re still refusing to face it.

  15. So often in these situations the immediate reaction is OMG WHAT AN EXTREME REACTION: PUNISHMENT, rather than Wow, that was an extreme reaction; I should sit down with this kid and find out why. 🙃

  16. Aside from all the other major issues with this, that 4 year old won’t even remember being a flower girl and having that ‘spotlight’. I was a bridesmaid a few years older than that and don’t remember a damn thing. It’s all for and about the adults and their agenda. Annoys me when they use the children’s feelings as an excuse.

  17. All I’d like is an apology, but I’m not banking on it.

  18. Same. Just an acknowledgment of all the damage and distress inflicted - some sign the human being I thought I knew is in there somewhere.

  19. Hmm yeah, sorry to say I think you’ve given birth to your second child - you already had one at home making this hard for you 😔

  20. Hmm… did Grandpa just need/want the cash in a hurry?

  21. I honestly don’t know, I think it might’ve been more about wanting to cause problems for everyone, he does that quite a lot and completely on purpose.

  22. Ugh. Why are people? Well you’ve got what’s yours now, so bye bye grandpa. Amazed he’s found a girlfriend to put up with his bs.

  23. I’m on the autism spectrum and so are a lot of my friends that I’ve had throughout my life. Not one of us would have done this or thought that it was remotely appropriate. This isn’t poor social skills, he was being deliberately cruel.

  24. This. I’m autistic and when I started reading I did think, ohh maybe that’s the issue. But by the end - no. He’s a c*. He could be an autistic c*, but this is not an ‘autistic’ thing to do per se. If anything most of us don’t like to draw attention and are terrified of doing something wrong socially.

  25. I read this that explains too. They check out of the relationship without telling you.

  26. It’s that stonewalling part - that’s the part that still deeply hurts me. The coldness. After how they behaved. And while it’s almost certainly due to their own issues and inability to handle the situation, you’re left putting it all on yourself, wondering what possible narrative has been established in your absence to justify this behaviour. Ugh.

  27. I don’t want to get back with my ex under any circumstances, but I’d still like an acknowledgement of what they put me through because of how they ended it. There were MH issues involved for sure and it was v out of character for them, but in time I’d hope they’d have something to say about it with a clearer head. But as others have said, I know it won’t materially change anything. But it would validate what I went through. I think when people know they’ve fucked up they tend to create a narrative that helps them deal with it, or maybe after too much time has passed they decide against saying anything and we will never know they came to that point.

  28. Obvs I don’t know the details of your situation, but as a f dumpee who was BU with in a really cruel way with no closure, an apology would really aid my healing. No way I want to get back with them, but the apology and some explanation would mean a lot to me.

  29. Same. It’s devastating, like you never knew the person at all. It was clearly painful for them and like another commenter there were MH issues involved, but I was completely stonewalled by them and people around them. L/t rship, BU over text, never saw them again. It really, really hurts and there’s no closure or explanation for the cruelty.

  30. It sucks and I feel so conflicted. I so often wonder why I'm waiting for someone who just up and left and cut me out from one day to the next.

  31. Yeah, after years with someone it’s hard to believe the person you thought you knew is capable of doing that.

  32. It's such a mindf*ck. I sometimes try to think of it as the person I knew just not existing anymore. He even claimed to "love me unconditionally" while doing it.

  33. There is definitely MH issues involved in how my ex broke up with me. I had to give up trying to communicate, I just got robot replies. Hard to believe I’ll just never see them again - we didn’t BU in person. Maybe one day they will have something to say about what they did, but Im not holding out too much hope.

  34. i’ve had this exact same experience. her family have basically been my family for the last 4 years. i know it’s shitty, but i actually prefer being round them more than i do with my own family. they’re more fun and we can talk about deep stuff one moment, stupid stuff the next with no judgement.

  35. Ugh, that is so hurtful and insensitive, I’m so sorry.

  36. They will always be their family no matter what. My ex’s family all knew me for 5 years and the type of person I was. I helped each of them out with things and was great to their kids etc., but as soon as I broke up with him, they cut me off without even asking for my side of the story. They didn’t care that my ex was abusive, they didn’t care that my ex might have contributed to me being at my wits end. They aren’t my family so they don’t owe me anything.

  37. Wow, I’m sorry. I totally get the loyalty thing, but it’s just not in me as a person to ignore or cut off someone I knew. Guess you can’t hold other people to your own values. I guess I just feel like why am I being punished here? I’m the one who’s been treated badly.

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