News from tempestan99

  1. It’s contentious on who made the first move. I’d invite him to hang out and stay the night, but oh no, I *only have the one bed so we’ll have to share ;)”

  2. First I ask myself what my partner is doing that is making me jealous. The answer is always that he isn’t doing a thing wrong.

  3. Traditional: I take care of most of the housework and cooking, and he works in an office. He takes the trash out and does the yard work. We have a weekly dinner with my family. We are married. I mend his clothes. He and my dad hang out every sunday to watch football.

  4. I have the Nexplanon implant. It’s made my periods long and frequent, but the added cost of tampons and period underwear (I use Thinx) is worth not becoming verbally abusive to the people I care about in the days leading up to every period. The increased fatigue might become unsustainable but it’s still better than nothing.

  5. Conditionally, depending on how far out I have to cancel. If it’s months away from the trip or she had another friend willing to take my place, I don’t think it would be appropriate to pay.

  6. My ex wanted to save me via infantilisation. Which was bad for him, since I just got a “aw, poor baby” when I treated him horribly, bad for my future partners because I expected future partners to give me that amount of “understanding”, and bad for me because I was given warped information on how my actions impacted my loved ones.

  7. Pre-1950’s classics from my favorite used bookstores (the more expensive volumes run for $15 unless you want really cool editions), quality wool yarn because I like to knit, or cute baking supplies.

  8. West Virginia, I can get it just at the drug store but it’s no longer needed (my fiancé has a vasectomy).

  9. I’m the bipolar so. When I’m in a depressive episode, I’m often very disconnected with all emotions but fear and hopelessness. I know that my fiancé is someone I care about, that I want the best for, but that fact is…muted? It’s hard to explain. I know that I love him, but at the same time, it can be hard to hold on to and believe in good things.

  10. Thank you for sharing. I struggle because every time I bring up any of my unmet needs, it’s an instant shut down followed by silence and talking about anything but the issues. There is no accountability. I tried couples counseling but I feel as though I’m the one constantly putting in the work to make this work and he is only participating as a favor to me. He is able to show sincere care and love to his friends which is why I am wondering if this is just how people in episodes treat their SOs? Because they can be the most vulnerable and raw with them?

  11. Yes and no, but mostly no. Being vulnerable and raw with my partner over my friends would show, in this case, as me being more open about how I’m struggling.

  12. Observation and experimentation. It’s helped me to take an conscious approach to empathy because I’d often only react in conversations, which leads to very shallow interactions.

  13. Taste depends more by brand and region. I’ve had $3 Kroger wine that tastes better than a $20 bottle of the same type (and I’ve never gotten a bottle with cork rot, either). Bogle wine, at around $15 a bottle, has a delicious Petite Syrah.

  14. Around friends, the biggest reaction I’ve gotten is someone going, “Oh, I need to take mine, too!”

  15. In Bedier’s translation of Tristan and Iseult: Tristan and Iseult are talking about the most beautiful places they can imagine, and they construct this fantasy of a castle that lays in perpetual twilight (which isn’t conventionally romantic, but the lovers could only meet then) with constant song and hundreds of candles in windows, but where they would never have to hide again, because no one would be able to enter to rip them apart.

  16. My fiancé and I have different and chronic problems, so sometimes we’ll have to take turns carrying the relationship. When one of us is in pain for fatigued or emotionally out of it for a long period of time, it’s really hard for both of us, but we try to exercise patience and the faith that the other is trying as hard as they can.

  17. Sadly, it’s probably a more nefarious issue, and they are either complicit or covering it up.

  18. You’re right that it’s sad and nefarious :( In one of OP’s comments, she says that the sixteen year old was assaulted by a group of female clients.

  19. It was mutual. It’s almost four years later, and he proposed last Tuesday.

  20. A birthday/valentines trip to the mall in dc (on a cold february thursday, we basically had the national history museum to ourselves, and we shared our hotel’s floor with an orchestral group so we were treated to beautiful music in the evening as they practiced) and then art museums and an official classical concert in philadelphia.

  21. My symptoms presented so stereotypically in high school that some of my closest friends, ones either knowledgeable in mental illness or with bipolar family members of their own, were shocked when I was diagnosed in college.

  22. I think that's very common for schizophrenia most people I met denied they had it despite the illusions they see

  23. I think they saw most mental illness as an automatic death sentence, and their daughter/granddaughter was going to be okay so obviously she couldn’t have anything seriously wrong going on.

  24. Not in that we were always destined to be together, but we were always going to have the opportunity.

  25. I felt really bad for her. I had a friend and we encouraged each other’s bad habits, so I cut back most of our contact. She hated that, hated that I wouldn’t engage in any fights with her about it, and to this day will go up to either mutual friends or childhood friends of mine that she sees in public (I don’t know how she would know to do this because I have her blocked now and I never introduced them) just to complain about me.

  26. My last name translates to the name of a bird in my language. I mentioned it as small talk, and the guy, I swear to god, asked to see my plumage.

  27. I have no friend that I talk to every day, or even reliably every week except for my dad and my fiancé. I used to feel guilty and blame my disorder, but I realized a few months ago that my friends and I are comfortable with this and close regardless. I’ll have hour long phone calls to catch up and share life events and I’ll write thoughtful letters. That’s what I want stable, and it’s manageable when in a depressive phase (at least the letters are).

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