AITA for refusing to pay to get his car fixed from my college fund?

  1. NTA, block him immediately. This sounds like a baby tinder swindler. I would not be surprised if he's talking to other people from Tinder trying to get them to pay for things as well.

  2. Yeah she’s been dating a person she met on Tinder - so it’s not like they were friends before and knew each other well prior to dating - for two stupid months and he’s demanding that she cough up $2,500??? From her education fund???? That’s a huge nope.

  3. This dude... Yikes. He is really going to accuse OP of choosing money over him, but I'm the same breath tells her that he "needs to think about their relationship" because she won't give him money.

  4. This. OP, men and women do this a lot with these online dating things. They'll literally have several men or women they're "talking" to, and then they start needing money. Usually, they ask for a little here and a little there. This guy just went for it. For whatever reason, he actually thought you wouldn't realize you're being scammed. Block him on everything and move on.

  5. run run r un run run then go in car and drive drive fastly drive fast drive drive drive dirvir then go on plane and then fly fly fly fly fly fly then go in water in submarine dive dive dive dive dive dive dive then .......................................................................................................................................................................................

  6. Girl, how do you not see the shit ton of marinara flags....🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

  7. He made himself vulnerable. Hahaha. "I need money for a car. I want a roadtrip!" Oh, those emotion! I am crying... For laughing! He really thinks his car or a roadtrip is more important than your education. And as soon ashe has the money: Bye-bye. And for YOU is money more important, while he asked for money for a fucking car! I can't stop laughing.

  8. NTA. Run ... but if you don't, let me email you my hard luck story and tell you why, if you're gonna miss a semester of college, it's better in the long run to miss a whole year to "lend" money needed by me. Believe me, I need it more than this guy.

  9. Exactly. NTA 100%! He just wants to use you hun, take your money and run. Any person who would EVEN have the cojones to ask someone to SKIP a semester of their education in order to pay for their car is pure trash and doesn’t give two f*ces about you. Think about how many other women he’s probably been trying to scam too, boo!

  10. NTA: get away - someone you aren't even officially in a relationship with yet wants you to give them $2500 and skip a semester of college to do it. He either is grooming you for abuse or has zero sense of boundaries. Run, do not walk, away from this deadbeat.

  11. he told me that he's going through a rough time and is paying for his sick mother's hospital bills that's why he couldn't put the 2,5k together and he needs his car to be able to go to work. he uses public transport as of now but says that it's not sufficient when he's a caretaker.

  12. NTA-He is 100% using you for money and you will not get it back. Dump his ass and go to college. The fact that he has the audacity to say you aren’t supportive and won’t talk to you until you compromise is absolutely mind boggling. Holy fuck.

  13. She is NTA and he was 100% gaslighting her. If she doesn't run he will become more than abusive and controlling.

  14. NTA this guy is pulling every trick in the book to manipulate you into giving him money. Giving, not loaning, bc you’ll never see a dime back.

  15. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 And the red flag of the week award goes to this guy (ohh boy it’s monday but I already can be sure by that).

  16. Lovescamming is the first thing that came to my mind too. Sounds like the start of the tinder swindler, which I'd suggest OP watch if she hasn't already.

  17. This is an important point… the mechanic is his cousin… he won’t let him pay over time and he’s family, but this guy expects you to pay and you’re not even in a relationship??! Nah

  18. I wasn’t even halfway through when before I thought “Oh hell no he didn’t! Bye Felicia!” OP, it seems like you have a kind heart. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself and know when to nope out without guilt. Block him!

  19. Scream this from the rooftops!!! My gosh anyone who doesn’t laugh in that scammer’s face and tells them to F OFF immediately has a lot of work to do before they are ready for a relationship

  20. All of this!!! That she is even considering giving up ANY of her college fund for a casual date is truly alarming. Take this gold, you’ve earned it!!

  21. It honestly blows my mind that there are people out there who would actually give this dude the money or want to continue seeing someone like this. I hope this post is fake for OP’s sake. I would have been out the door the second he started spamming me about the repairs and how long the car has been in the shop

  22. This!!! I'm actually worried for this girl! You seem to be naive!! It's a huge huge huge red flag to ask you for so much money and to skip a semester.. even if you were in a relationship, I'd never skip a semester for a guy. Your education and your job are you way to financial freedom. Be careful in your future relationships. NTA

  23. Yes! I was thinking we need to have her promise to have her fellow Redditors check out all her future dating prospects. Terrifying that she thinks there even a chance she could be in the wrong here.

  24. this comment about sums it up. This guy is throwing around every manipulation tactic in the book, but regardless I would have immediately cut off contact with this doofus. The fact that OP even considered this INSANE request makes me scared for her.

  25. This. She’s a kind person and by not saying no immediately he knows he’s got heart strings attached already. Now he’s casting her out to make her work at getting back to him via giving him money.

  26. NTA. This is a scam. He is a scammer. He is sending these same pics and telling this same story to SEVERAL women. You are just one of them.

  27. This!! One of my friends, she got a loser bf and he got into her things and stole her social security number. Then they get engaged, she proudly displayed a ring, come to find out he used her ssn to apply for credit only one from Zakes and she didn’t even know about it until bills starting showing up at her house.

  28. I would say the fact that the “mechanic” is his cousin would lead me to believe that there may be nothing wrong with his car.unethical people tend to stick together

  29. Jesus. Absolutely NTA. Run from this man. Any man who wants you to use a semesters worth of your college fund to pay for his car is trash. Do not risk for education for any man, let alone a tinder man who you are not officially dating.

  30. Everyone focuses on the semester without realizing how detrimental losing a semester can be especially if you are following a program. This is so sad. I hope OP shakes this out of their head.

  31. No, he will likely stay around to scam her out of more money when he learns that she is an easy mark. Look at all the Nigeria letter scammers. They really latch onto the ones which give them a scrap.

  32. Honey, when a 27 year old man -MAN, almost 30- courts a 22 year old and after only two months, pressures them into taking 2.5k from their COLLEGE FUND to pay for THEIR vehicle, that is a blaring, neon red flag. For a lot of reasons.

  33. Yup. And if he doesn’t have enough money to fix his car he certainly can’t afford to take her in a road trip! And I will bet that the more string she is with her no the more he will just disappear. But like you said, not before being nasty and saying a few words.

  34. Ohhhhh no. NTA. This guy was clearly testing you to see how easily you could be manipulated and used by him, and you passed by failing, if you know what I mean. He's a good-for-nothing mooch, and you should not feel guilty for refusing to be his sugar mommy.

  35. I’m sure part of the manipulation is that she has to demonstrate “total trust” just so she can be awarded the “prize” of being called his “girlfriend”.

  36. NTA. "made himself vulnerable" almost made me laugh. I get not wanting to tell people of your financial struggles, but he has been sending you photos and a picture of the bill. He's not vulnerable, he's asking for money.

  37. NTA. DO NOT PAY. Drop this guy as quickly as possible. You owe him nothing and his car payment issues is his problem. The fact that he asked you to skip school to somehow pay for this is crazy. He should hit up his fam and if they are unable to help, there is a reason. He is a mooch. This is abnormal behavior of him and I wouldn’t want anything further from him

  38. NTA - he’s 27 and can’t afford the $2,500 to fix his own car so he’s asking a 22 year old to skip her education to help him now.

  39. He wont ghost until she finally stopped paying. If he gets this money(which he ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT) he will likely continue trying to squeeze her out of all the funds and act like its a healthy relationship.

  40. Jesus. NTA. I suggest you watch the Tinder Swindler on Netflix. That's the worst case scenario. Best case scenario is that he's just an asshole and not worth your time.

  41. FOR REAL. Even the best case scenario here is still GARBAGE. This is unacceptable behavior and at so early in, I can't imagine what it will escalate to even in a year.

  42. Lololololol omg did he really think that bullshit was going to work? He hopes you're an idiot. Throw him in the tinder trash.

  43. NTA. He's a conman and you are his mark. Even if you know where he lives you're never going to get anything back if you do this and he'll just find other ways to get money out of you in the future. It will only get worse from here. Run fast. Run far.

  44. Also-car is in shop owned by his cousin. I would think some sort of payment plan could be arranged. Btw -Nta. Not even a little bit. Drop this guy.

  45. NTA hunny he’s trying to take you for a ride. Watch tinder swindler- this guy is definitely asking other young vulnerable women for their money too.

  46. If you give this guy money you should never expect to see it again, in fact, you may never see HIM again once he owes you money.

  47. That dude is a glaringly obvious manipulator with just the examples you write here. He’s probably using Tinder to run his scams on others too. NTA!

  48. NTA. Any man who thinks his car is more important than your education needs to be kicked to the curb ASAP. Anyone who truly cares about you would not make such a request. You will not see that money again and even if he takes you on a road trip, it will not be worth missing school over. I hope you stand your ground and dump him.

  49. Wow, this guy is a prize AH! You’re barely even dating and he’s already trying to drain your college fund to pay for his car repairs, wtf! Run, OP, run, and thank your lucky stars he showed his colors early.

  50. Sounds like extortion. Don’t feel too bad he can get a loan from the bank. You have no guarantee that you’ll get the money back. Holding the relationship hostage “I might reply if you give me the money” is a red flag and enough to know that he’s toxic. He’s trying to set it up so you’ll never say no and pulling out all the manipulative stops (guilt fear obligation) to get you to fold

  51. I mean, his cousin is the owner of the shop surely he can ask them to set up a payment schedule if he's THAT desperate rather than manipulating someone you've only just started seeing.

  52. YTA for not telling this guy to f off and never call you ever again after his "request" and then doubly after the way he treated you when you first said no. Wtf. I feel bad for a lot of people who post here, but at some point you have to just not be an idiot. Don't be an idiot okay? Block this guy's number and never talk to him ever again.

  53. He said you chose money over him?! No, he chose money over you. It is your money and you have a clear purpose for them - your education. And you shouldn't be hold a hostage for that. Absolutely NTA. And I wouldn't continue to date him if I were you. This is big red flag.

  54. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 nta, 2mths and shows you're just a cashpoint to him. Run away, never look back. Can pretty much guarantee you'd never see any repayment

  55. NTA. This is a huge red flag. At best, he's trying to manipulate you. At worst, he's trying to con you. Don't let him do either.

  56. NTA - Hard NO!!! May I remind you that you are not even BF/GF - So, Hella NO!!! Also, prioritizing a car over your education?! MAJOR red flag!!!!

  57. NTA. This would be a gift. You will miss a semester and lose the money (you won’t get the money back) for someone you don’t even know. He’s trying to manipulate you. Don’t fall for it.

  58. You’re NTA. Do NOT pay for anything for this guy, unless it’s his cab ride home the last time you see him. His motives are less than optimal, and you deserve better.

  59. NTA - he’s the AH, scammer, manipulator. I suggest ending the getting to know him situation. This will not be the last time he’s going to ask you for something that will make you uncomfortable and he will try to use things like the road trip to guilt trip you.

  60. Good Lord No. NTA. You barely know each other. Don’t lend this guy money. You will never seen it again. Stop dating him too . This sort of manipulation and guilt tripping is unacceptable. He’s showing you his true colors. Get out now.

  61. NTA. To ask for $2,500 when you're still getting to know each other is a red flag. To suggest that you take a semester off so he can get his car fixed is another red flag. Telling you he made himself vulnerable to you is another red flag. Show him the door!

  62. NTA. Do not give him any money. I wouldn’t dream of asking a long loved relative to lend me that much money let alone an almost stranger.

  63. Don't move any further with a relationship with this dude. You have no responsibility, and he is trying to manipulate you into paying. Hell no!

  64. Nta. Do not give that guy money. Dump that guy and never speak to him again. He won’t repay you, and is trying to manipulate you.

  65. Come on, you cannot be that naive! How is this even a question? He is not your boyfriend or anything. Why on earth would you be paying for his car? Girl, wake up. NTA

  66. NTA and hell no. Do not engage in this conversation one more minute. If he brings it up again say absolutely not and laugh in his face. Asking you to skip college so you can fix the car of a random guy you’ve dated a couple times? That’s ridiculous. And no normal person would ask for that.

  67. NTA. And WOW! You’ve dating only 2 months and he asks for that much money? And then gets upset? No thank you. Pass on this guy

  68. Definitely NTA. His response is all you need to know. The fact that you are only just starting out dating and he’s asking for 2.5k just screams RUN. If he can’t afford to fix car now, how is he going to pay you back? He’s definitely trying to emotionally manipulate you (the last parts of your post), but stand firm - your education is 100% more important than a guy you are dating.

  69. NTA and the best you can do for yourself is leave him in the past, he is playing with you, testing how far he can go, that guy is a big red flag!

  70. NTA. You’re not ‘official’ and he’s already asking for money? 🚩🚩🚩 He will just use it to take his girlfriend on vacation (i.e. not you).

  71. NTA Omg he sounds really entitled! It's your money, that you earned and he has absolutely no right or say in what you do with it. The fact that he even expects you to say yes to his demand is an absolute red flag!! You are not in a longterm relationship, and even then it would be kind of an AH thing to ask. Your education is so much more important than his car. Even if he says it's also for your benefit. It is not. If he really wanted it only to take a roadtrip with you, he could borrow someone's car, or rent a car. And even then, if he has no money, guess who is going to have to pay for the gas on that trip. Get out while you can, if he acts like this in the first months of knowing him, chance is he will only get worse on the long run. No man is worth your education. Choose yourself, not him and his car.

  72. If he doesn’t have the money right now to fix his own car how do you know if he will have the money to pay you back? Have you thought of that?

  73. YWBTA if you give him the money. Please don’t be naive. Why would you compromise your education for someone you’ve known for 2 months?! He is trying to manipulate and guilt trip you. You need to find someone that wouldn’t ask you to make such a sacrifice

  74. Girl, if you're smart enough to get into college, you're smart enough to know not to blow your college fund on a guy you've been dating off tinder for just a couple of months. Ditch his ass.

  75. INFO: lmao and how will he be able to pay for the roadtrip if he can't pay for the car? If he's a caretaker how can he leave for the trip? Dude is a bum

  76. NTA what the heck? He’s not even your boyfriend ,you know him only for two months and he thinks he have something to say about your money/education ! 🚩🚩🚩Run girl run

  77. NTA. I would be hesitant to loan that kind of money to a really good friend or a close family member. Person I have known for 2 or 3 months? I would be insulted they even asked.

  78. NTA but not to be need to use your head and common are being scammed..get the fuck away from this dude and move on..good on you for not giving him the money..but block him and be done!!! ASAP

  79. You can tell from her comments she's already made up her mind to do this and when he rips her off she's gonna be back on reddit looking for legal advice about what she can do and there'll be nothing as she can do his IOU will be worthless because he has to have integrity and money to pay back an IOU but she's gonna do it and hes gonna be gone after she pays of the money she's gonna do it

  80. NTA. I don't mean this to sound (too) harsh, but it really concerns me that you're even considering this enough to make a Reddit post. What kind of entitled jackass thinks it's remotely okay to ask someone to pause their education so that they can have a car? Anyone that gave a shit about you, your opinion, your life wouldn't even think to ask you. Run far, far away from this person.

  81. NTA. Only needed to read the first part. Whybare you dating a loser that’s almost 30 when you’re 22 and have the best years of your life ahead of you. Please for the love of god and some self respect block his ass everywhere. Omg, do you not read yourself?! Gurl RUN! The AUDACITY

  82. He. Is. Scamming. You. You will never see that money again. You don’t want to be with someone who would prey on a college student rather than get their own mess sorted out. Run away, ghost and never look back.

  83. LOL big NTA your eduction is far more important than his beater car. He can take public transit or get a better job to cover the cost himself. You need to end it with this guy that cares more about a pos car than you.

  84. NTA. Do not give him any money at all. A “it’s too soon in our uncommitted relationship to give you this much money and change the course of my education, besides you can get a credit card or ask a family member for financial help instead of me” 2500 for a broke car is stupid way to spend your money. Do not let him play you. I’d also reconsider the relationship now as he doesn’t have the brains to know better or to manage his finances. To ask you for your education funds is absurd

  85. NTA his money problems are his issue and not yours. I’m finding it very concerning that he felt comfortable enough to ask you and not his own family…take my word for it that’s actually a huge red flag. However, if you feel a need to help him then you could suggest that he either get a job if he doesn’t have one, or get a second job or tell him to ask his own family to help him because you are not his personal ATM.

  86. NTA. This 27 yo for sure knows how to manipulate other people. Just look at yourself - it is been only two months of not even dating, and you already feel guilty for not giving away your college fund to please some random dude. My wild guess he is a con artist and has dozens of "dates" in their late teens - early twenties to extort their money, because, you know, he is so "open and vulnerable". Block and forget about him.

  87. Nta don't do it you'll never see that money again and if Paul sticks around it'll only be to continue acting as a financial drain. If you set this precedent at only two months into the relationship, you'll never get back into school because he will not ever get the money to pay you back and every time you get a little bit of money after this he will feel entitled to that too.

  88. NTA…wow…you’re basically setting your life back half a year for a stupid car owned by an idiot…and spoiler alert, what makes you think he cash pay you back? Honestly, $2,500 isn’t that much…if he cannot scrape that together, he does not have things under control.

  89. NTA. My girl, he is trying to scam you. Asking for money will never stop. A woman I knew ended up giving a guy over $10,000 over the course of a year because he kept saying he was struggling and he couldn’t pay rent, couldn’t make his credit card payments, then his mom got sick. He just wants your money and you’ll never get it back.

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