AITA for refusing to feed my baby and going to bed?

  1. “Stay at home parent” is only your sole responsibility for the time it takes him to commute to work and be at work. Nothing outside those 45ish hours you are co-parents. Your SAH job has equal hours to his job and then the rest is called parenting and should be split equal. NTA.

  2. Seriously NTA. When my kids were that little I thought I was quite literally losing my mind from lack of sleep. If he's got enough energy to play Fortnite then he isn't as tired as you and should help out. Being the stay at home mom doesn't become anywhere near a fair trade for his 37 hour work week until the kids are much older. The newborn phase is an all hands on deck kind of situation and everyone should be giving you any kind of support they can at this stage. Also, he's a parent and he should act like one just like he would expect you to do if you were working.

  3. Jesus H Christ, you're a SAHM. You stay home and care for the baby during the typical work day, saving hundreds in child care costs. It's NOT that you have sole responsibility 24/7 for your husband's child. Once 5 o'clock rolls around, and all day weekends, baby caring needs to be split. Feedings, changing diapers, etc all need to be split.

  4. Being a sahm doesn't mean you're the sole parent. If you're getting by on only a few hours a day on a regular basis, you're going to fall asleep at the wrong time or start making poor decisions. Hopefully no one gets hurt because of it, but you could easily have an accident and hurt yourself or your baby if you're tired enough.

  5. Oh it definitely is! Our marriage is very rocky and I can't wait to get out of it. He is no longer the man I fell in love with.

  6. I never understand why some people assume stay home parents mean on duty 24/7… it takes 2 to make a baby-and if In a relationship-2 to raise baby. Yes, husband works, you should be on duty for his work hours- everything after that time should be split 50/50. NTA

  7. Nta. Where you at? I'll come talk to your husband. You want me to have one of my kids burn down some of his fortnight village or whatever is that child stuff they do? Let him read every comment telling him to grow tf up. Haven't read any comments yet but there's no way that's not what they're all saying.

  8. Yeah it would be one thing if he was pulling like 50-60 hour weeks but 37 hours a week isn’t even full time for most states.

  9. My husband works 60 hours per week and has 3 hours a day driving to and from work and he still helps out. He does laundry, cooks occasionally, cleans, plays with our 2yr old and holds and chats with our 3 month old.

  10. But it sounds like your husband actually likes his family and wants to participate.... not the vibe I'm getting for OPs hubs : /

  11. Damn man, my husband works about the same but like hell he does laundry or cooks or cleans anything. He is slowly getting better but it's slowly for sure. Doesn't help that he is a bit of an alcoholic.

  12. NTA he sounds immature, definitely talk to him about this, it is absolutely difficult even with a full time job, but time to park fornite for a while

  13. I have tried to talk to him :( he shuts me down and says he's too tired from work. Should I add he's a fast food manager...

  14. NTA your husband is a dick. Going out to work is waaaay easier than looking after a baby. I (a father to 3) was the lucky one who got 8-9 hours a day break away from the kids whilst my wife stayed at home. After work and on weekends we split the childcare 50/50 and even that was exhausting so doing it full time must be fucking terrible.

  15. "My husband and his friends / family are calling me an asshole because it's my job to care for the baby because I'm a stay at home mom. I'm just so tired. :( " So, does that mean you created her all by yourself? You're supposed to get very little sleep because he wants to play Fortnite because he's tired from a hard day"working"? You're going to wind up in the hospital if you're getting such little sleep. Take care of yourself!!!

  16. So I'm guessing he is all about taking care of the baby on his days off? Let me guess... he does not. Even women who work are on leave when having a baby because that's a lot. Of course this is not entirely on you and you also need time to rest and for yourself. Once you are a parent, you go from work to your family FFS. If he wanted to come home to just enjoy his free time, he shouldn't have had a baby.

  17. NTA: So he works 37hrs /week and he's supposed to get to rest (aka playing Fortnite). But you're supposed to take care of a baby 168hrs/week and get no rest (aka sleeping) at all.

  18. NTA your husband needs to realize that being a SAHM is a full time job you never get a break from. He should be helping you out the second he gets home from work

  19. Being a stay at home mom is literally 4 full time jobs. Full time is 40 hours a week. SAHM is 160 hours a week. 4 full time jobs with no breaks. Don't even get a bathroom break, still on duty with baby in your arms WHILE using the bathroom, takes 2+ YEARS to get 5 minutes to pee solo. Full time job is a wild understatement, to be honest, with zero protection from labor laws like deadbeat parents get.

  20. NTA My husband worked almost twice the hours your husband does (55+ with an hour commute both ways, 6 days a week) when ours were little and he helped with everything almost everyday. There were days when he didn't help with any housework (take down/bring up laundry because I had C-sections and couldn't) BUT the kids were always OUR responsibility. After dinner, he always sent me to bed and took care of them all (his, mine and ours) until he went to bed.

  21. NTA. I have a 6 week old and a husband who plays a lot of video games. We split the night EVERY NIGHT. I go to bed early and he stays up with the baby. He spends about half that time playing video games with the kid on his lap. Then I wake up after a solid chunk of sleep and we switch. Our baby is terrible at sleeping at night and that's how we make it work for now. We give each other naps throughout the day on the days we're both home.

  22. You've reminded me how my fella was with my eldest when she was a newborn. He loves his video games/watching video game analysis and often he would often tuck our daughter inside his dressing gown for a cuddle while he was watching.

  23. NTA, I remember how it was to be constantly exhausted when my son was a newborn. My ex was the same. Finally I told him to grow the f*ck up. If the videogames are more important for him than feeding the baby to let you have bare minimum of sleep, he can leave. You already have one child at home.

  24. NTA...You also work all day. It's equally up to him to care for his child. You also need adequate rest to be able to do your best every day. Time for him to grow up and step up.

  25. NTA. He needs to step his "dad-game" up. I'm a new father myself (son is 9 months old), working anywhere from 48-60 hours a week in a fast-paced, PHYSICAL, factory job where my working conditions can routinely be up to 135° and I still make time to give my wife breaks and naps and care for my child on a daily basis. You both became parents when your child was born and he needs to do his part. Heck I know there are guys who have it way worse than me even and still step up to be good fathers.

  26. Fellow new dad of a fat and happy 6 month old here…I disagree that other dads have it way worse than you. I agree with the rest of what you said though. Keep fighting the good fight

  27. NTA that's not fair. Where is your down time? Where is your time to replenish your energy and mental health. Please ignore the negativity from his family. It's not your job to be sole provider. You should be a team. Newborns are exhausting. If he has the energy to play Fortnite he can certainly use that time to treat you right.

  28. NTA 37 hours a week would have been like a part time job to me. When our kids were young and my wife stayed home I was doing 60+ hours every week.

  29. I do 36 in 3 days considered ft because of the long shifts and I still managed to take care of my child. If op is going to be doing everything she may as well be on her own anyway

  30. NTA. The needs of the baby trump his gaming needs and you getting some rest is more important than him playing another round of Fortnite. He's off the clock from work, but never off the clock from being a parent.

  31. NTA like seriously unless an agreement is made parenting is a shared job. Games are not an excuse to not watch your kid. Furthermore unless a partner is working insane hours work is no excuse to not parent either. Yes, we should have free time to do what we want but more importantly we should be making certain the other partners needs are met too. You need sleep so he needs to care for her it is his turn. Mother duties are a myth, father duties are a myth; it's just called parenting. PS: stay at home mom work is hard. Everyone who thinks it's all lounging around needs a reality check.

  32. Oh I agree! Fast food can be VERY difficult I worked in the same place as him which is why I can confidently say his job isn't much.

  33. NTA, you’re a stay at home mum when he’s at work. When you’re both home, you’re both parents. No one’s job is 24hours a day, 7 days a week.

  34. SAHM here. My husband and I hold the same office hours. After that it's 50/50. I generally give him nights between 10pm and 5am bc I know he has to work and needs sleep, but after those hours he's on duty. If she cries at 430 my husband doesn't even ask he just gets up with her so I get at least a little sleep. Your husband needs to learn that being a SAHM cannot be a 24/7 job or you will be unsafe to care for the baby.

  35. Yeah exactly, while he is at work, she is working on keeping her baby alive and happy. She needs rest to be able to do it. When I was on maternity leave, I was so tired some days, I thought I might drop her while going up and down the stairs with or fall asleep while feeding her. I think it is so important that both people get some rest.

  36. NTA because he is also (according to the comments) able to feed the baby. Having a baby is very hard work, and you both need to be in on it together.

  37. NTA he doesn’t get the parent title by gaming. You’re I’m assume a SAHM? That is a job, he clearly wasn’t interested in having a child. Time to have a real conversation

  38. No sorry. Even if you are a stay at home mom I see your "hours" as the same as your husbands- so while he's out working you're working from home. The moment his workday is over its 100% share responsibilities between you two. My husband and I used this method and its worked well for us- each getting time off to shower etc, taking turns at feeding, taking turn with sleeping etc. My husband had leave for three weeks when the baby arrived, befor we had kids he would always joke he'd love to be a stay at home dad, as the weeks progressed with our new born id incrementally pop out for an hour, then two then three then sometimes a whole day- this gave him a complete appreciation of what being a "stay at home parent" was about- he since announced he never wants to be a stay at home parent and his appreciation for me skyrocketed, he came right home and took the baby as walked because he knew after a straight 12 hour shift alone with the baby i was exhausted and needs 5 mins, it really helped. By your husband's logic then your job is 24/7, so in a week you work 168 hours compared to his mesley 37- that is pathetic- frankly that weak. You're in a relationship- a partnership where responsiblity is shared , you're NOT a single mom! I mean of he's wanting to treat you like a single mom, then maybe you should stop doing his washing/cooking/ cleaning because its JUST you and the kid right?

  39. NTA. Having a full time job does not cancel out his need to be a father. Being a stay at home parent, particularly to a newborn, IS a full time job. If you do not get sleep you will become sleep deprived and this is dangerous to both yourself and your child.

  40. He shouldn’t be playing fortnite when there’s a crying baby that needs looking after. He needs to pull his weight.

  41. NTA. Being a SAHM doesn't mean being the sole parent. It means being the sole parent for the 37 hours a week your husband is working and outside of that time splitting the parenting duties fairly. Often SAHMs do end up with most of the wake-up duties so that their partners aren't going to work sleep deprived when bad decision making at work could be dangerous in any way (so arguably a SAHP is the sole parent for some 80 hours a week, rather than 40-- 8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep), but he should be even doing wake up duties on the nights he doesn't have work the next day at least some of the time.

  42. NTA. One day you’re going to be so tired you either do not wake up to care for her, or become a physical danger to her. Sleep exhaustion is incredibly dangerous, you can easily drop her, get irrationally angry with the crying, fall asleep with her and suffocate accidentally… it’s too much. He needs to get over himself.

  43. NTA. Both of you are responsible to care for your child. Just because you're spending more time at home than him, doesn't mean that you should take care of your baby 24/7. He needs to do his part too.

  44. NTA. Your husband is having zero understanding that sleep deprivation is literally used as torture, it's very hard to go through. Yes he deserves a nice break, but that should only be after everyone's primary needs are met.... he is being flat out selfish.. this is why a lot of marriages fail within the first year of having children.

  45. Nta being a mum to a newborn is exhausting, your body is still trying to recover from growing & birthing the baby let alone the change in hormones & exhaustion from lack of sleep, you guys need to have a chat & you need to make him understand his responsibility - your baby needs you to be healthy so you can look after them properly

  46. NTA. On their words it’s your job to take care of the child during business hours. Outside of that it’s both parents job. He needs to step up as well. A 37 hour work week isn’t that bad. He can care for his child as well.

  47. Are you kidding.. you’re primary care giver to a human that you only 50% made. The other half of that baby is your husband. He may be exhausted but if he’s working then coming home to play video games, i mean come on. He made that baby with you, it’s his baby too. My point is, your baby deserves both parents, not just a mother married to a man. Maybe try therapy - or try at least listening to a parenting podcast together. You can’t make him want to be the father he should be, but you can communicate that you are feeling lonely

  48. "i didn't realize your fast food management obligations meant you were not available to be a father. If I have to raise this kid alone, I deserve, at least, the peace of doing it alone without you making things worse."

  49. I’d let him know that if you’re doing it alone anyway, then he can just pack his bags and start paying child support. You don’t need two babies at home to deal with. Time for a serious talk OP, things won’t get better if you don’t, and even then there’s no guarantee.

  50. NTA SAHM mom doesn't mean child care 24/7 without help from the babies "father" (using that term lightly because he isn't acting like a dad.) He came home and jumped on a video game, the baby started crying and instead of him pausing to feed her, he paused to wake you up. Your husband is lazy

  51. NTA, he works only 37 hours a week but expects you to be 24/7. Everything past normal “work hours” is meant to be split. I highly suggest couples counseling, he obviously has family weighing heavily on his opinions.

  52. NTA. He's a major AH. 37h a week is nothing. I work 40 and would still be able to care for a kid after. He should be giving you the whole evening off when he gets home from work. This type of "arrangement" is unacceptable.

  53. For me being a sahp for very small kids means you care for the children and everything that entails when the other person is at work. When both are home you are both parents and work together to handle everything that needs to be done. Sahp does not mean single parent, NTA.

  54. Yep - I was exclusively breastfeeding for the first few weeks with my oldest and when, at one point, I started crying because I was too tired to eat a sandwich (that was already in my mouth), my husband went into solutions mode and we started giving her a bottle for her 11pm feed

  55. That second edit makes things so much worse.. he's "babysitting" his own child so you can have your "beauty sleep" ? WTF??? Leave his lazy ass, you'll be so much better off without him!

  56. NTA! You care for the baby while he's at work, when you're both at home it should be an even split 50/50 when it comes to the baby and the household chores. Also an even split on down time. If he plays games one night, you can go out with your friends the next night. You're equal partners in this!

  57. NTA but you two really need to work on communicating better. You're in the middle of the newborn chaos right now and it's so hard because it's constant and relentless and exhausting and boring all at once. Just because your partner works, doesn't mean he has no responsibility for your child. But you will be 1000% better off by working together to find a way you can both have a break during the day. Once you do, the parent life gets so much better but it takes time and patience and both of you doing your part to get there.

  58. I am sorry. I didn't mean it to be. I am exhausted. And didn't know how else to phrase it. It's how everyone kept telling it to me.

  59. I'm not a parent but I've never understood how the baby is automically assumed to be the mom's responsibility, like you two made that baby why does she have to bear the brunt of the work?

  60. NTA. Your husband needs to grow up. Coming home to play Fortnite instead of helping with his wife/child? Your family seriously agrees his behavior is appropriate? Don’t let any of them gaslight you into thinking your husband has a tougher role—stand firm! You deserve a partner that’s all-in.

  61. NTA at all. He does 37hrs and you do ~154hrs. This is so infuriating to read I am SO sorry you're going through this.

  62. NTA. A 37 hour week is nothing compared to what you're doing. If he has the mental energy to play fortnite, then he has the energy to parent his child so you can sleep. He needs to grow up and stop behaving like a child now there is an actual child in the house.

  63. NTA. I’m a SAHM to a 4 year old and a 4 month old. I exclusively pump and we bottle feed the baby. When my partner comes home from work, he immediately takes point with the kids. He’s done all night feeds for both babies, and we split chores. Right now he actually takes on more cleaning/cooking duties because I’m pumping, which is a major household contribution.

  64. Exactly. Men aren't "just like that". That's a complete lie. Yes, there's huge social support for this view, but he's still choosing to exploit and disrespect you. I'm glad you're leaving, OP.

  65. Nta i would record him playing games everyday him saying he's tired and had a long day at work, then send that out to everyone. Being a parent is a two parent job. If your husband doesn't want help then I would hide all the hdmi cords to everything or this is probably red flag number 1.

  66. NTA. Your husband should enjoy feeding his baby. Before I went back to work, the first thing hubby did when he got home from work was to demand a bottle so he could feed our daughter. She was breastfed so I had to pump.

  67. NTA! Tracks your sleep and how many times you’re up with baby. He clearly cannot see how you’re struggling. And especially while this is the case, Fort night is not a priority in your house! 37 hours is a piece of cake compared to the 140 or so that you’re working.

  68. NTA. I breastfed, so it was difficult for my husband to help out with feedings. He worked 60 hours a week because of his job. He still woke up with me and helped me with our son. Your husband shouldn't be playing games, he should be helping you out with the baby.

  69. NTA. Most moms are SAHM for at least a month. I don’t think any of them expect to do it completely alone when another human lives in the house. If he has time for video games, he has time for baby.

  70. I feel like that’s irrelevant regardless. He works 37 hours a week at his job, she works 37 hours a week taking care of the baby on her own, and they should split everything 50/50 when he’s home. It’s his kid too. I’d understand if he wanted her to take an extra night feeding or something since he has to be up at a specific time and she doesn’t necessarily, but then he should be taking the baby to let her sleep when he gets home from work. He doesn’t get to relax while she does everything. You give that up when you decide to have a child.

  71. NTA. Your husband needs to step up as a husband and father. Running yourself ragged without any sleep is bad for both you and the baby.

  72. NTA. It doesn't matter that you are a SAHM. Once he gets home from work, childcare needs to be split 50-50. He doesn't get to play video games while he has a young child unless you agree to it, but that's only in return for his giving you x amount of hours for yourself. Please don't have another child with this man. He needs to grow up first. The other option is to go away by yourself for a weekend and let him care for the baby. Sometimes people need to see for themselves how hard it is.

  73. NTA. From your comment you can both feed her so it already seems like the division of labour is massively uneven for no good reason. You are working literally around the clock doing days and nights with your sleepless baby and getting what a couple of hours of sleep if you’re lucky? While he’s working 37 hours. Does he ever do night shifts with the baby or is this always you? Has he ever done a whole day on his own with the baby (guessing no if he can’t perceive that it’s hard work)?

  74. NTA... unsolicited advice, try and close the gap between her day feeds. Eg cut feeds down from every 3 hours to every 2.5. It'll get her sleeping for longer periods overnight. Hang in there, the first 6-10 weeks are the hardest.

  75. nta, sleep deprivation can cause all sorts of problems and not to mention PPD can factor in, it's absolutely unfair of them to expect you to do everything

  76. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  77. I'm so NTA you're going to loose your mind. Your husband is an immature asshole. Personally if I were you I'd be packing my shit and leaving. I currently have a newborn and fuck that noise lazy asshole.

  78. NTA but make sure you’re communicating to him before the point when things bubble over. I know he’s a grown Man and should know he needs to help, but you both are stil pretty young and it can’t Hurt to tell him your expectations

  79. NTA. The whole point if being married is that you're supposed to be a team. That means one picks up the slack when the other can't. He's not holding up his end of that bargain. If he wants to talk about work, remind him that he's working 37 hours/week while you're working, what, around 150? Because taking care of a newborn is work. Exhausting work. Video games should not be more important than his wife's much-needed sleep.

  80. NTA. Just brought home a new born two weeks. Luckily I could take the first month off and have another 3 months from my job I am taking later. I bend over backwards to make sure my wife is comfortable and sleep as much as possible. She pushed this baby out and I'm thankful for that. It's a shared responsibility while he is working I would assume you'd stay up a little more, but not understanding how tired you are ans pitting his family against you is horrible. I hope he becomes more supportive because your in for a rough go if that's the plan. Good luck!

  81. NTA - your husband is straight up endangering your child because he works a normal work week whilst you're on call 24/7. Life with a newborn can absolutely suck, you get so tired you just can't function properly anymore, and incidentally lack of sleep is a form of torture. My husband also likes gaming, and our baby often slept on his chest whilst he was gaming after work so that I was getting some uninterrupted sleep - and she was exclusively breastfed and refused to take a bottle so he couldn't even feed her. Your husband can do even more.

  82. NTA leave him. He’s no partner and you can get his money for the baby through child support. Any man who offers to “babysit” his child is not part of your family or the baby’s family. Parents don’t babysit, they parent. He’s not a parent.

  83. NTA I’m so sorry OP. I know it’s not easy when someone doesn’t pull their weight especially when it sounds like it’s been a rough journey to this point for you and baby. Your husband really needs to step up. As to how to get him to, I’m not sure and I’m sorry I have no advice. Is there any chance you can convince someone to knock some sense into him?

  84. NTA. Stay at home mums do not work 24 hours a day, that is ridiculous. You should be getting as much leisure time as your partner is getting. When he is at work, the parenting is your job. When he gets home you split it. His friends need to mind their own business. I understand you are all young and so they might not understand how things work, but they have NO SAY in your family and your partner needs to understand that they're agreeing with him because they want to play games with him, not because he's right. Ask anyone involved if they really think you working 24 hours a day while your partner plays video games is reasonable. It's not. You need a break as much as he does.

  85. NTA. Unless he’s working down in The Mines or something there’s 0 excuse for him to throw this shit on you. And if he’s got enough energy to play video games obviously his job isn’t physical. This dude sucks.

  86. Just leave him. I’ve done both and my life was easier when I worked 37 hours a week and then just looked after her on my own at night than having to look after a child all day then a child and husband and house 24/7. Day care helps you with the sleep routine, toilet training etc so you do get some support - definitely more than what you are getting and you don’t miss out on the gap in your cv. Baby is socialised and happy and is also tired and ready for bed at night. Husband can get custody on a weekend so you know you are getting a break and if he doesn’t want it then he needs to pay you more child support so you can pay for a babysitter.

  87. NTA - you need help, he's wrong, your family is wrong, and if you don't get more rest than you're getting now it will be catastrophic for your mental AND physical health. Leaving him is the right decision, and best of luck to you.

  88. NTA he sucks, to be honest it sounds like he wasn’t ready to become a parent. I would recommend a divorce because if it’s like this now, he will not change.

  89. Gamer here that works 50+ a week. NTA. -He's bullshitting and using it as an excuse to slack off, you might be a SAH mum, but that finishes when he steps through the door & you're both supposed to share the "burden" (obviously not a burden just turn of phrase) Honestly if he's truly too tired to look after his child, he'd be too brain-dead to play a game, the amount of times I've come home near burned out and I've not even had the energy to play games is too much to bare thinking, he's not tired, he's lazy and shirking his responsibilities

  90. NTA just because it annoys me so much that the father is babysitting his own damn child. I hope you are paying him minimum wage. Also that you are getting beauty sleep, rather than undergoing severe sleep deprivation, a known method of torture. Not that surprised you are thinking of leaving him. If you did, you'd get more childcare.

  91. I think you need to explain to him that your body went through major changes and trauma which can take a long time to recover from, and that looking after a child is a full time job that you don't get to leave behind.

  92. NTA. My husband worked ft and couldn't wait to get home and see our children. Our eldest needed to be waken up to be fed every 3 hours (offcourse was often awake for 2 hours and fell asleep right before her feeding time...) , so he came up with a schedule which allowed me to sleep from 19 til guaranteed midnight and if i got lucky till 3.00.

  93. You know you're NTA. It's clear, esp from your edit, who is. Taking the day off so you can get sleep is such a dramatic reaction, if he was just pulling his weight in the first place he wouldn't have to. "beauty sleep" f*** off my guy. I hope you are either able to resolve this or you leave the jerk.

  94. Nta The job as the sahp is to still share the load. When our daughter was a baby. I slept from when my husband got home from work to 1130pm. Every single day. Til she was sleeping through the night and even then. My husband does daddy daughter day every Sunday and we split putting her to bed all week. I hold the primary load of her care but he is absolutely my partner.

  95. If he has an issue tell him to DM my husband. He can tell you about the time that I was so exhausted and beyond it that I had a breakdown and I almost put a pillow over my babies face to stop him crying because I was so sleep deprived and hadn’t had a break. Thankfully it all worked out ok as I called my midwife in desperation and despite me not knowing her that well and it not being part of her job she came over to my house and gave me time to get myself together.

  96. NTA. I'm currently doing my clinical rotation on a postpartum unit and see it all. New motherhood is daunting and exhausting. It takes time to adjust to a new infant who needs constant care, especially right after birth. If you expect mothers to be 24/7 around the clock with their child, YTA. Sleep deprivation have devastating consequences on health and safety for the child. Anyone saying otherwise is TA.

  97. “Babysit” wtf. Fathers don’t babysit. They parent or they don’t. He clearly chooses the latter. The fact his friends and family are backing him on this means this will never change. I am so sorry. NTA

  98. Fortnite? He plays fortnight? What? I work 45+ hours a week, and I still manage to handle all my shit before I even think about a video game. Like he has some serious slack to pick up if you're going to stay with him.

  99. Lol, when we had our 3 boys I was working 40 plus hours a week and got up to do the night feeds on all but our youngest who was breastfed. I worked on the assumption that we were both knackered and shes more of a nightmare than me with less sleep so it worked out for us all :)

  100. He needs to get his priorities strait. Looks like gaming with his friends is more important than his crying baby. NTA, he needs to grow up. It seems like you’re already a single parent, might as well leave so you only have 1 baby to take care of.

  101. Nta. I lost it when he went to tell you the baby was hungry. I saw your edit and I hope you have a safe place to go to. I'm sorry.

  102. NTA. He works 37hrs a week. You are working 168hrs. Becoming a parent means getting home from work and looking after your child, even when you are exhausted.

  103. NTA. Your husband sounds awful and so does the family. I almost ended my life after 19 months of broken sleep. My husband never offered to help with sleep and I was bed sharing with my daughter. He never offered to swap. When I had my mental breakdown I got into therapy and was able to say my wants and needs. He stepped up, but he was annoyed to have to to start with. Now I look back and I still hold some resentment to him even though we are in a better place (I'm working through it). My daughter is 3 next month and still a handful but we jointly look after her, and parent her. I wish you nothing but the best of luck In the future, op. I hope you get support from somewhere x

  104. HOLY SHIT! He has a newborn! He does NOT get to play Fortnite. SAHM means that you take care of the baby from 8-5, after are BOTH PARENTS and get to 50/50 the rest of the feedings/work.

  105. you will be a stay at home mom when it will be time for you to go back to work after maternity leave and you will decide not to. few weeks from birth is definitely NOT a stay at home mom but a mother recovering from birth. MTA and pls leave him

  106. NTA. He is bringing nothing to the table but wants to complain about what's already there. Respect yourself enough to do what's absolutely best for you and your child.

  107. NTA! I just had a baby and can feel you so much. Our baby did not sleep at all for the first 6 weeks so I barely had 3 hours per 24 hours to sleep. He slept 6-8 hours at night and complained about being tired. So I lost it at one point. Me and my boyfriend had to talk it out because I was on the brink of leaving (although he does not know that). If talking it out does not work please do what is best for you and your baby. You are not in the wrong here. Besides you don’t only have to deal with sleep deprivation but also (and this is forgotten a lot by spouses and some family members) a birth and a lot of hormones. That sucks the energy right out of you. So you are more tired than somebody who only has to deal with sleep deprivation.

  108. NTA. He works 37hrs/wk. You work 24/7. A SAHM works the equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs. It’s HARD with a newborn. You deserve help, not an additional child.

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