AITA for not inviting my child free sister to a family day at my house.

  1. YTA. It doesn’t sound like she “hates kids”, it sounds like the only time you ask her to do things with your kids is when you’re asking her to babysit - not just for a few hours, but overnight or for multiple days - and she doesn’t want to.

  2. This is exactly it. OP regularly tries to take advantage of his sister, and she stands up for herself. So now him and his wife are taking petty revenge by not inviting her to family gatherings and spreading rumors that she hates kids. Despite everyone else in the family knowing that she doesn’t. YTA op. Read your own post 🤦‍♂️

  3. Literally, I also hate how he added quotation marks around the “child free” part as if he’s looking down on her for being married BUT not having kids. Newsflash to OP, maybe your sister doesn’t want to babysit because your evil spawns are annoying as shit. And there’s 3 of them TOO?????? Like one kid is enough to babysit, but THREE??????? OP has damn lost his mind. I wouldn’t invite you to thanksgiving either. Suck it up. And YTA.

  4. Why are you so butt hurt that your sister doesn’t have kids? Is it because she has more free time? More money? Is it your jealous wife’s fault? Your post just sounds soooo salty on your end.

  5. And she’s not “child free”, she’s child free, period. Meaning she has no responsibility for any child ever. OP sounds like one of those guys who put the entire value of a woman into wether or not she has borne children.

  6. He’s mad he and his wife are dealing with the consequences of their actions. They assumed it was a her problem when the problem was them and no one else in the family was going to tolerate it.

  7. Probably because his sister comes to the cousins house and helps with the kids while visiting with the cousin. OP just wants her to take his 3 children for overnights or multiple days. Yikes on bikes.

  8. I love how he doesn’t see it’s wrong to not invite his sister to a family event (just cuz it’s for parents), yet she thinks it’s “messed up” to not get invited to Thanksgiving which is also a family event? It’s like he said, he has the right to decide who he does and does not invite to his house. But his sister also has that very same choice. Doesn’t feel so good when the shoe is on the other foot, does it OP? You absolute hypocritical jerk

  9. I absolutely love how the family reacted to all this. They stood up for the sister and told them how much she has helped them. I'm glad they all left early and OP didn't get any invite from his sister lol.

  10. But OP'S family gathering was for parents! /s. Plus grandparents and anyone else that wanted to see the kids, except for his sister because he needed to be sure everyone knew she was "child free" and hated kids. YTA

  11. YTA. OP wants a free sitter, not for his sister to build a relationship with his kids. The entire tone of this is just a very clear window into why she stays away from her brother.

  12. Im not sure why people think family has to bend over backwards to help them when they aren't willing to do the same. Op and his wife are probably raising children who feel entitled (because this post shows their entitlement), and the sister doesn't have time for the bs.

  13. How many favours do you do for your childless sister? How often do you wash her car, or drive her somewhere, or house sit so that she can go away?

  14. Whoa, whoa, whoa there! Childfree people do not get help. Help and special accommodations are reserved for those WITH CHILDREN. /s

  15. YTA, if she doesn't want to babysit she doesn't have to, nobody owes you free childcare and that goes for childfree people and people with children, excluding her from a family event is cruel

  16. I agree. You should read his comments here, he is entitled beyond belief. Also, by the reaction of the other guests, I'd say this wasn't the first time he was an AH, his wife included. Big YTA.

  17. He's probably only upset because he'll now have to plan and pay for his own Thanksgiving meal without being able to take advantage of his sister's hospitality.

  18. Sounds more like it’s his family that is the problem if she spends time with the rest of the family including the kids. Especially since one calls her their favourite auntie. Probably because they don’t ask her to babysit for a weekend and actually want her around for more than that. YTA

  19. Also the babysitting OPs asking for are massive requests taking three kids overnight or for a weekend is a lot and you’ll probably find the rest of the family ask for like an hour here or there and those are night and day

  20. Actually the cousin says she helps that doesn't automatically mean she babysits - it may be she spends time with the cousin and the kids together

  21. I expected the sister to be hateful and mean to kids when OP described her as "childfee" and didn't want her around. Some people make not likeing kids into their whole personality. Understandable to not want someone like that around all the kids.

  22. I mean it doesn’t even say she doesn’t like their kid. Just that she won’t watch the kid overnight and sometimes has better things to do than watch the kids during the day when asked.

  23. YTA - Just because you had kids doesn't mean your family are involuntarily free childcare. A family get together is a family get together whether they chose to have kids or not is irrelevant. Parent Privilege strikes again!

  24. But you understand, she doesnt have kids so she should be available whenever I want to keep mine right? Because what is she doing of her day if not watching kids?

  25. YTA. It sounds a lot like you and your wife do not appreciate or respect your sister. In turn, she seems to have caught on to that and is not allowing you both to take advantage of her, which you retaliated by not inviting her to a family get together. And now you arw surprised she hasn't invited you to the family get together she is hosting.

  26. Not to go on a tangent, but what's condescending about child-free? Childless is bad, it implies deprivation and pity. Child-free does exactly what you say it doesn't...it implies the freedom to choose not to have children.

  27. I agree. I’m childfree and want to continue being childfree. I’m probably not gonna work with kids either. And I’m not gonna babysit my niece and nephew.

  28. The moment i saw "child free" instead of just child free, i already know what it's gonna be. And i was right.

  29. YTA. You excluded your sister because she refused to be your unpaid nanny. Just because someone is child free doesn't mean that they exist to be at your beck and call.

  30. Yta, you don't have a family day and not invite part of your family. Just cos she doesn't babysit your kids? Wow. According to your cousin she does like kids, maybe she just doesn't like YOUR kids.

  31. And it's not like he's asking her to watch his children for a few hours; he asks for overnight or weekends. Meanwhile, the other family members all have positive feelings about the sister, who comes to visit the adults and children rather than just being expected to care for three children for a weekend. OP is completely blind to the difference.

  32. Translation: “I failed to exploit free childcare from my sister so I excluded her from a family event, and now I’m not invited to an event she’s hosting, please tell me I’m right”.

  33. YTA. And you should know this already because the rest of your family understands your sister and has a good relationship with her. The fact that you wrote "child free" in quotes as if it's some weird behavior is very dismissive. She doesn't want to babysit YOUR three children for a weekend (I'm guessing as a volunteer), but that doesn't mean she hates children. She helps out with other children in the family. Seems all the problems revolve around you and your wife, and not your sister.

  34. Isn’t it interesting that your sister apparently has a great relationship with your cousin and her kids? I wonder why it’s different with you? I think there’s something you’re not telling us. Maybe something like having a horrible attitude towards anyone child free and treating your sister as having less value than other family members? YTA

  35. Yeah that stood out to me as well, the sister doesn’t actually hates kids. It seems like it’s either an issue between him and his sister, or his kids are unruly so she doesn’t want to deal with them.

  36. This was funny to read. So nobody in your family has the same experience as you with your sister when it comes to kids... And you fail to see what the common denominator is?

  37. I also laughed out loud at the part where the cousins thought she was the best aunt lol. This guy is so thick, no wonder he wasn’t invited to thanksgiving

  38. YTA. If you didn’t have any reason to believe your sister would treat the children poorly or otherwise ruin the day, excluding her was just petty and spiteful. It was supposed to be a family day. Family members without kids are still family.

  39. INFO: how much did you offer to pay your sister for the childcare, especially over night and on weekends?

  40. YTA a massive AH along with your equally AH wife. So the only time you want your sister around is when you want her to watch your kids? And she declines. Good on her. If that’s the only time you think of asking her over. Obviously the other relatives are much more kind to your sister thus her helping out with their kids. Also, the “” about your sister being childfree? You are quite judgmental aren’t you? The event was for family to get together, the fact that she doesn’t have kids shouldn’t punish her. You could have invited her and she could choose to attend. Good on her for not sending you an invite to her thanksgiving dinner. You don’t deserve one.

  41. YTA. Because you are not telling the truth. You wanted to use her as a babysitter which she denied so you excluded her from the fantasy event to ridicule her. But it backfired you now!

  42. You know… I was willing to hear you out, and I tried to see your point of view… but after your comments… Jesus YTA. Big time. I am child free by choice, I love kids…. I would do absolutely nothing to help you out as you are an entitled AH. If I were your sister… you would be LC / NC to me. Not worth my time for how judgy and entitled you are.

  43. YTA You can’t be seriously wondering whether you were wrong for not inviting your sister. It was clearly not a childrens’ event if the parents and grandparents were invited too. You’re clearly the asshole for not inviting your sister to a family event. She doesn’t owe you giving you a break and it sounds like the real reason for not inviting you is her not babysitting YOUR kids.

  44. She's declined your other 'invitations' because it's all unpaid labor. Your cousins say she comes over and is a great aunt and helps put because they actually want to see her, not just have her come and relieve someone elses labor.

  45. YTA. If she’s happy to spend time with other people and other people’s kids, it might be time to step back and ask yourself what you and your kid’s behaviour makes her not want to do the same with you… there’s also a big difference between spending time with a whole family that has kids, and babysitting on her own. You held a family event and didn’t invite her, why are you so slighted that she’s doing exactly the same thing to you- or is it only ok when YOU do it? Hypocrite much?

  46. YTA Talk to your wife and both apologize to your sister. It would appear you tried taking advantage of her because being childless she couldn't be busy could she? Sigh

  47. YTA- exactly what everyone else is saying, she doesn’t hate kids, just doesn’t want to give up an entire weekend to watch them. Wondering if you and your wife act this way, how exactly do your kids act? They are likely going to treat her the same way you do, so maybe she just doesn’t feel appreciated by your kids at all. On a brighter note, it is probably a relief that she wasn’t invited to your family gathering, gives her the opportunity to drop that rope and have some distance from you

  48. YTA. So you wanted to punish her for not giving you and your wife time away from your spawn and didn’t invite her. The fact that she helps others with their kids should tell you something it’s not her it’s you or your kids. Don’t be expecting an invite as you said it’s your house your choice she’s just following your lead.

  49. YTA. No one owes you babysitting. Childfree or not, she’s still part of your family. You could have still asked, made her feel included in the decision. People who are childfree doesn’t automatically mean they hate kids, maybe you’re the problem?

  50. Maybe the reason she declines to babysit is because you’ve asked her “more times than I can count” to give up an entire WEEKEND or to watch your kids?

  51. YTA, so because your sister doesn't want to be a babysitter for the children you've chosen yourself, you decide she doesn't belong to a FAMILY day? Try not to think for anyone else.

  52. I’m child free and I love my niblings. If she doesn’t want to babysit your kids it’s probably because your kids are hard to handle and/or you use the fact that you have kids to be an asshole where you expect favours and not give any in return.

  53. I feared everyone would pile on the sister. I'm very proud to see Reddit piled on the entitled couple instead. It warms my cold, dead heart.

  54. YTA. You should have talked to her and let her decide whether she wanted to come or not. Also from your comments it sounds like you just contact her when you need something, that's no way to treat another human being.

  55. YTA. The reason your sister doesn’t want to babysit is definitely a you problem…not a her problem! Your entitlement is unbelievable!

  56. YTA Your post reeks with condescension. “even though she is married” - getting married doesn’t mean you have to have kids. And being childfree doesn’t mean you hate kids.

  57. YTA. And you and your wife reek of entitlement. Your sister is under no obligation to provide childcare. Just like she wouldn't owe you a kidney if you needed one. If she wants to babysit out of the goodness of her heart, you thank her profusely for it because you a) chose to have those kids yourself and they are not anyone else's responsibilty and b) don't seem to realize favors are just that. Such an AH. You and your wife. Match made in entitled AH hell.

  58. As a woman that’s married, and has no children yet has several sibling in laws with children, I would be very hurt by your actions. It’s also rude to assume other family should babysit for you and help you out with your children. Would you watch your sisters dogs if she had some and needed a sitter? I doubt you would. You’re sister can tell you love her conditionally and decided those conditions weren’t for her. YTA plain and simple.

  59. You both are massive AHs and I bet your kids are a piece of work too. Grow up, hire a babysitter, and take your sister out to an adult dinner to apologize and nurture the relationship if you want any chance of recovery.

  60. YTA, and seems like your wife is too. If your sister loves helping everyone else out… it’s you. Hi! You’re the problem, it’s you…

  61. You’ve maybe convinced yourselves the withheld invite wasn’t a punishment for not “helping out” with your kids, but I doubt you’ll convince Reddit. YTA

  62. YTA. Why not invite her? If she hates kids she declines, and this would never be an issue. Seems like you kinda wanted to punish her for not watching your kids. Apologize and maybe you can save thanksgiving for your family.

  63. YTA. I also have 3 kids, very close on age. I also have a sister who does not and will not have kids. I’ve never once asked her to take the kids to give us a break. When they were little, she didn’t hang alone with them, because she wasn’t comfortable and that 100% fine! She’s not your babysitter.

  64. YTA. You excluded your sister because you and your wife believe you are entitled to babysitting because you are related. Your sister doesn’t owe you babysitting services or helping you out because you need a ‘break’, excluding her because she ‘hates kids so much’ without actual evidence except that she doesn’t babysit for you is baseless. She’s not obligated to help because she’s childfree.

  65. YTA. Obviously from what was said, your childfree sister doesn't "hate kids," she hates that you constantly harass her for babysitting duty and won't take no for an answer, dismissing her own plans when you want to use her.

  66. YTA - if your sister wanted to look after three kids all weekend she’d have her own. That was no reason to exclude her from a family day and everyone except you and your wife knows it.

  67. YTA it sounds like it's about her not watching your kids. You claim since you have 3 kids you haven't been able to help her any either. So why is it ok for you to claim you're too busy, but not her? All you had to do was invite her, then SHE could have made the decision of whether she wanted to be around kids or not. But it sounds like it's completely about you, wife, your kids - both in your attitude and her dislike of babysitting for you.

  68. In case you haven't figured it out yet OP. Both you and your wife are AH. Regardless of whether your sister was to come or not, you still should of invited her. I hope that punishing her because she won't babysit your kids was worth it. Because it sounds like you've turned the family against the both of you. Just hope your kids aren't the ones to suffer because of your pettiness.

  69. YTA - unless your sister is openly hostile toward children, rather than just casually disinterested, you we’re TA for the choice and TA for how you’re doubling down. Makes me wonder why your sister will be around your other relatives kids but not yours.

  70. YTA and you’re also an idiot. I too am the only child free in my family and because my siblings don’t treat me like an unpaid babysitter I regularly offer because I like to hang out with my niblings. Sounds like your sister does the same, so you’re missing out on babysitting because you’re being a jerk.

  71. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  72. YTA it was clearly a family event, everyone was there except your sister. Of course she’s upset she was excluded. Good for her for not inviting you to thanksgiving, now you can see how it felt for her to be targeted and left out of a family event.

  73. Yes, YTA. You should have invited her, and told her the plans for the day. Then, if that kind of day was not something she was interested in, she could have politely declined herself. Or she would have been happy to come and participate, which seems to be the case...

  74. Oh so it’s messed up and mean she didn’t invite you to thanksgiving but it’s perfectly fine to not invite her to a family day. I have no children and if my family didn’t at least call me to a family day I would absolutely avoid them for god knows how long. YTA but I think you already know that, everyone else in your family does.

  75. YTA. Firstly your sister has every right to choose if she wants to watch your kids or not. Secondly not inviting her seems like you are punishing her for not watching your kids. To me it seems like the only reason she helps others is because they dont hassle her about it.

  76. YTA. “Family” does not mean “people with children.” How completely asinine of you to think that adults without children should be excluded!

  77. YTA entitled asshole at that. I wouldn't want to watch your kids either. You and your wife sound like nightmares. Your probably the type to try to push your way in without an invitation. Nightmares

  78. YTA. There's a huge difference between your sister not wanting to be your babysitter and her not being part of a family event. You basically told her she's not part of the family because she doesn't have kids. Or at the very best she's a second class member of the family because she doesn't have kids. That's truly horrible.

  79. I would’ve just invited her. I don’t blame your family for being upset/confused. I’ve had family fights start over much less.

  80. YTA. There is definitely a lot being left out. Reading between the lines, it sounds like you and your wife are regularly AHs, leading your kids to probably be little terrors. That’s probably the real reason your sister won’t babysit for you, but will for other members of your family. Yeah, definitely leaving a lot out here

  81. So your event for parents and kids only was for everyone except your sister? YTA. I'm not surprised she helps out with the other kids but not yours, if this is how you treat her.

  82. YTA. All you say is about your sister not babysitting for you. Have you invited her to be a part of your children’s lives without demanding anything from her that benefits you and you wife specifically? You sound very entitled.

  83. YTA You could have given your sister the chance to decline. Instead, you just excluded her. How does it feel to be excluded from Thanksgiving?

  84. You said your event was “meant for parents” Well her Thanksgiving dinner is meant for people who can be grateful for others. YTA

  85. YTA Ever thought that perhaps the cousins kids are better behaved than yours which is why she doesn't want to watch them? Or that you're 'asking more times than you can count'? So basically, you're asking her all the time, expecting her to say yes, then getting all pouty when she says no! Us child free people have lives too you know. You aren't special because you got your wife pregnant.

  86. YTA... You invite who you want to your house for your family events and then get pissy when you don't get an invite to another family event.

  87. YTA my sister won't jump to and babysit so I'm going to exclude her from family gatherings because obviously she hates kids (couldn't possibly be that she just has plans when you ask)

  88. YTA. You invited family who don’t get together very often but failed to include your own sibling. You assumed without asking what her response would be. That’s exclusionary, particularly when you mention bonding time as the purpose. INFO: Did you ever invite your sister and BIL over to just visit without asking her/them to babysit? Do your wife and sister get along?

  89. At the end of the day it’s your sisters house and it’s her choice who she invites to her house for Thanksgiving. YTA

  90. YTA Clearly you and your wife have annoyed her. Why should she babysit overnight or weekends. Clearly you have harassed her about this and you claim she hates being around kids. But your cousin tells you otherwise, since your sister sees their baby often.

  91. YTA, knew as soon as you put childfree in quotes, you’re a condescending AH who I wouldn’t want at my thanksgiving dinner, good for your sister on not inviting you to hers.

  92. YTA in a BIG way! You and your wife sound like huge mooches, not to mention the misogyny dripping in your post and comments. How could a woman possibly have anything going on in her life if she doesn't have children? Women exist specifically to care for children. Right?

  93. YTA you decided what your sister, thought, felt and wanted. You never asked her. You could have invited her and and she could have chosen to come, or not to come. No wonder she chooses your cousins over you.

  94. YTA. Clearly your wife has a problem with your sister. And clearly your sister isn’t a child hater, as she helps your cousins and hangs out with their kids.

  95. YTA. As soon as you put child free in quotations I knew. The whole point of marriage isn't to have kids. Her life style is a valid form of family. My husband and I are that family l.

  96. Lol YTA. I’m childfree too, and I refuse to help watch my siblings kids cuz their are literal nightmares with the poor parenting my siblings put into them. However I will baby sit other kids because I’m not being drop kicked and screamed at and having things thrown at me, etc…

  97. YTA. Even if it's true that your sister doesn't babysit for you, so what? I am one of 6 siblings (and aunt to several children) and haven't ever once expected my siblings (or parents) to babysit. Even if I asked and they said no they'd still get an invite for the family gathering. Only exception in our case is one brother who is NC to our family of his own doing. Doesn't sound like that's the case with your own sister.

  98. So, you're upset that your sister won't be a free, on-call babysitter and you've decided to interpret that as "she hates kids"? It sounds like you and your wife hound her and feel entitled to her time, so of course she's not going to deal with that. Both you and your wife are AHs.

  99. YTA & you & your wife's attitudes are most likely the reason WHY she always has things to do when you want to use her as a free babysitter. You invited family over, but didn't include your sister because, & let's be real here, she doesn't jump to take care of your kids whenever "you need a break". (News flash: Nobody has to babysit for free just to give you a breather from being a parent. You need a break then pay a babysitter.) You & your wife were perfectly happy to exclude her for your petty reasons until it blew up in your faces. She's helping others in the family, but not you which leads me to believe the problem isn't her, but you &/or your wife. You two made a petty choice to exclude her from your family gathering & now you're getting the consequences by not being invited to her family gathering. Maybe realize the world doesn't revolve around you & your kids & then apologize to your sister for your unreasonable expectations. Don't demand or expect forgiveness either. You two caused this with your behavior & now you two can figure out how to make your own turkey dinner with your kids. The audacity you both have is mind-boggling!

  100. YTA. You clearly view her as a free babysitter and are probably the people who bring their screaming baby on an airplane and take someone else’s seat.

  101. No one, not even your sister, is obligated to babysit your kids. The fact that you're offended that she doesn't shows how entitled you are. Just because she doesn't have kids doesn't mean she hates them. You sound bitter and jealous that she doesn't have kids so you punished her for it. Yeah YTA

  102. YTA- how don't you see that? just because she's child free doesn't mean she isn't part of the family or considers her and her husband a family.

  103. YTA. You sound like you’re entitled to your sister looking after your kids when you want. I’m a mother of 4 kids and you don’t get “time off” from the kids because ..NEWSFLASH…they’re YOURS! You’re allowed to ask her to babysit and she’s well within her rights to say NO and that’s a complete sentence! I wouldn’t punish any family member for not wanting to look after my kids. I can ask and they can say no - that’s how free choice works.

  104. YTA. No one in my family has ever offered to take my children to give me a break (and I'venever asked.) Even when I was married nobody did and now that I'm not nobody has. My sister and her husband who are cat parents did take my kids on outings as the aunt and uncle that were living in the same town as us but it wasn't to give me a break-- it was to do stuff with my kids once I was divorced because they knew their father never did anything with them. (I did stuff with them all the time.) I don't get this thing where everyone thinks that their family members have to give them a break because they had kids. That's just weird to me. Nobody owes you babysitting.

  105. Lmao 🤣 sorry not sorry, I just can't help but laugh at the last part where karma was dished when said sister is hosting Thanksgiving and he hasn't gotten an invite. BAAHAHA so happy you're getting what you deserve... she has every right to not invite you to a family gathering she is hosting... looks like all big family gatherings will be solo for your fam now huh OP. Good luck.

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