What’s stopping you from having sex?

  1. Distance. My wife moved 10 hours away for a job. We are moving back together this summer though thank God. Distance suuuucks.

  2. Mine can play Fortnite without a single bathroom break for hours but the second my penis goes anywhere near my wife suddenly they need a snack, something to drink, is it okay if the 30 neighbor kids come in the house.. it's fucking nuts!!

  3. My daughter loves elmo. In order for us to do it, we take her to her room, play a 4 hour long elmo video from YT and leave the room to do our deed. The funny, and weird, thing is that this elmo video is now like a stop watch that measures my performance. 🤦

  4. You know there actually is a science there. Studies show that young kids have a legit cock block instinct up to as old as 3-4. It’s thought to be an evolutionary mechanism for the child to keep parental attention on them. Little Fuck heads.

  5. Our bedroom door didn’t lock. (It was one of those double doors that had broken at the top, so it wasn’t as easy as just replacing a door handle lock). So, after one too many close calls of the kids walking in during sexy time - I had to link one of the motion sensors from my smart home security system to a light in our bedroom so if the kids started down the stairs, the light in our bedroom would blink red.

  6. This exactly. Shortly after I was divorced, I took the kids on a mini-vacation somewhere. Down in the hotel swimming pool, cute single mom starts giving me the eyes, so I start chatting with her. My son literally swims in between us, "Daddy! Watch what I can do!"

  7. Instinct. They don't want to risk having to share their bedrooms/food/parental attention with another sibling

  8. When I was in my 20's, I struggled with "am I attractive" issues to the point where it became a real problem with self esteem and confidence. Now at 39, I don't focus on that but instead just feel thankful for all that I do have and offer. I came to find out that I was caught in a loop of negative self talk and thinking that reinforced my low self esteem. Actively making it a purpose to break the cycle by learning to be comfortable with myself skyrocketed my attractiveness to women by leaps and bounds. Insecurities are still there (grey hair, receding hairline etc.) BUT I brush them off and just work to maximize the cards I was dealt by being healthy in body and mind. I'm now in a serious relationship that will be leading to marriage to a woman who by every measure should be out of my league on a purely physical scale. Bottom line is that I wish 20 year old me would have known what 39 year old me knows.

  9. The first 3 is it for me. I was a bit fat, lost that weigh, tbh I look attractive now. But there's always a "could be better" part of my body so I always postpone the dating and fucking, thinking I first have to solve that so I don't disappoint or something

  10. Try all that, and add a dollop of 'not exactly in the right mental place for a relationship'. For me, sex usually implies some kind of relationship, even if it's just 'friends with benefits'.

  11. Internet fistbump my fellow widower. It's been a bit over two years for me after being with the same woman for almost 30 years. Just resigned from my job of 7 years and am starting to explore the idea of dating with a future former coworker. I was visiting the office she's at and took her out to dinner twice over the course of a week, then went to a botanical garden and some art museums this past weekend, then talked with her on the phone for an hour and a half last night.

  12. This is where I’m at right now, too. Boyfriend is just starting to surface from a very deep depression and he has zero libido. That plus moving in with his mom has made things a bit strained.

  13. I feel this. I’ve been dealing with depression/anxiety, and the medication killed my libido. I’m also tired all the time. That being said, my fiancé is wonderful and doesn’t push. We’ve both had shitty mental health struggles, so he gets it.

  14. I feel you man, my wife’s been going through some things and has had zero sex drive for a while. Just being as supportive as I can be and trying not to let my frustrations flow over.

  15. They said slight sexual problems may sometimes be experienced not downright becoming asexual. Truly a rock and a hard place decision to start SSRIs

  16. Pain, I’ve had 8 surgeries on my neck and back,2 on my hand and arthritis everywhere else. My wife has back problems and arthritis. We just can’t find a position that both of us are comfortable with.

  17. Having married someone with a partial spinal fusion for scoliosis, I also have to say pain is a huge cock block. There are very rare days where there isn't some part of her back or shoulder causing a ton of pain that just completely gets in the way of even attempting to get her on board for sex. I mean, I think the desire is still there for her at least, she just can't find the will to try because she's worried it will make the pain worse most days.

  18. My husband wouldn’t have sex with me when I was pregnant either! He thought it was gross I guess. It was actually super hard on our relationship bc I was so horny and in need of intimacy during that time.

  19. You need to jump him. Tell him you need it. My wife did that in the 3rd trimester and it was so sexy it almost gave me a pregnancy fetish.

  20. choosing abstinence because i’m aware i have attachment issues that intensify when i perform an act as intimate as sex. I’m in therapy twice a week, sex and dating are off the table until i have more control over my emotions. a personal choice that was and is difficult, but one i’m very proud of myself for committing to

  21. Same here. Better not take another risk until I grow a stable enjoyable life. Then I can give intimate relationships another shot perhaps.

  22. It's scary to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, only to likely be rejected and when emotional intimacy is required it feels lie a much bigger and more real threat to that vulnerability

  23. Gained a lot of weight during covid. Changed my hair. Got out of an abusive relationship a year ago. Am actually just really happy like this. Was never happy when I looked good and had opportunities. It’s a conundrum.

  24. Same, lost over 60lbs before COVID and hated how people's attitudes towards me shifted so completely. People were suddenly ok with being around me, told me that I looked so much better, were basically willing to be around me now. It hurt cus nothing else about me changed and it made me realize that people only liked being around me when I was thin enough. Then COVID hit, I gained it all back, and I also left my very manipulative ex. I feel so much more confident now, like Im wearing my own skin again. People are back to overlooking me again but Im pretty ok with that because it means if someone strikes up a conversation, or asks to hang out, it's more genuine. Life is good :D

  25. Advice from an internet stranger: it's okay to be afraid of being bad at sex. But a great way to be decent and get better is to communicate with your partner. Learn and accept what they like and don't like, and allow yourself to learn and accept what you like as well.

  26. Good luck brother. I can't say I truly understand but working on your cardio and avoiding sexual stuff helps the chemistry in your brain and gets your body ready.

  27. I would be honest with her. Tell her your fears, but that you want to make it great. It might take time but explore and be creative together.

  28. Same buddy. Feel free to reach out to me if you want someone to talk to, I know it's not easy dealing with these things alone.

  29. Apparently this is pretty common. Friend of mine says she wont let anyone eat her out cause she doesnt want them to look at it too closely.

  30. Guys don't care as a general rule. I'm 40 years old and have had maybe 20 partners in my life, I have never been repulsed by a vagina. Usually quite the opposite, even though genitals are weird I still like them and find them sexy.

  31. I feel that one, homie. Post relationship trauma. Sex isn't a big deal it needs to be an emotional connection. I've got all sorts of ways to have sex without having sex. What's the point in casual sex with all the wonderful things I can do to myself?

  32. Same here man. I'm a college student and I go to parties/bars and there just isn't anyone I'm actually interested in anymore.

  33. I spent my teens and early 20s chasing "tail" and basically forcing myself to be in these situations but never feeling right about it.

  34. I thought I was asexual until I was around 27 and then I developed a crush on a guy who for whatever reason awakened my sexuality. That said, he was taken and I’ve not felt sexual attraction to anyone since him so I remain a virgin at 32. It’s shit, I wish I’d never felt sexual attraction in the first place because now I’ve experienced it, I feel like I’m missing out. Before I felt sexual attraction it literally wasn’t something I really cared about because I wasn’t interested.

  35. My partner (male) has a low sex drive. If I ask him for sex, or try and flirt/tease/seduce/romanticize with him for sex, 9/10 times it ends up in a fight, argument, or he gives me (female) such a deliberately awful experience, that it makes me not want to try again for as long as I can handle. He makes it feel creepy and borderline sexual assault sometimes. Sex is just an awful experience at this point. When he’s into it, it’s beautiful , rich an rewarding. It’s just that he’s only into it a few times a year.

  36. Get him to see a shrink or both of you, he could have a lot of issues that's he's not even aware of himself. Most men won't talk about themselves on an emotional level because it's socially "wrong" etc. Not trying to tell you what to do just trying to give some helpful advice to help you be happier and get yourself some good ole times.

  37. Is there physical abuse in addition to the mental/emotional abuse? I ask because when I was going through exactly this situation a doctor asked me that question and it set in motion a whole bunch of thinking that might benefit you as well. Mine ended in divorce. There was not physical abuse but there sure was a lot more mental abuse than just what I was seeing with the sex. Be good to you.

  38. Embarrassment. I'm 27, still a virgin, and unable to orgasm on my own. How can I have sex with someone if I can't even have sex with myself right?

  39. I can't cut my own hair, but other people do a great job. Sometimes it experiance, mindset, or just the angle :)

  40. I thought my partner was gay when I first met them. But they kept pursuing me so we ended up getting together.

  41. It’s too risky as a woman. We typically get a very unsatisfactory experience and will go to jail if we accidentally get pregnant and don’t want it.

  42. Yeah today my friend was like “I can’t take birth control because it fucks with me, condoms break and men just flat out take them off and I’m supposed to risk getting pregnant and not being able to get an abortion so I can let some guy not satisfy me as much as I can satisfy myself?”

  43. Fear of pregnancy, especially with the roe vs wade issues. Still need to make an appointment to try to get approved for a hysterectomy so I'll never have that fear

  44. The thought of getting intimate with someone weirds me out even though I enjoy sex. And the possibility of mediocre sex makes it seem not worth the effort.

  45. I'd consider myself a decent looking fella, but I'm so fucking awkward. Went on a date 2 weeks ago and managed to end it really awkwardly by inviting my date in for a drink then immeadiately saying "oh no you've got to drive". Whoopsie!

  46. Because…I’ve been carrying the entire load of household tasks, planning, shopping and cooking for months along with my full time job because my partner has been completely engrossed in a demanding school semester and hardly sleeping. And I spent the past several months struggling with side effects of an IUD and endometriosis pain and am now trying to heal after removal. And my dog has a slow growing tumor in her chest wall. And there are dishes in the sink and ADHD stress ruminations are so GD tiresome. And I go to therapy but right now talking more about what consumes my thoughts 24/7 feels more exhausting. I feel so burnt out from just everything and feeling so lonely and starved for intimacy that I would rather just be held, talked to and cared for than have sex.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may have missed