sex on the first date yes or no and why?

  1. I have had sex on a first date but on every occasion it was initiated by my date. I frankly wouldn't have had the nerve to raise the subject myself.

  2. This old bartender I knew said if you aren't going to fuck what's the point of the date? Lol. It motivated me in a weird way though.

  3. Depends on the partner. If we both feel the urge and have a hot and safe way of doing so, then hell yeah. If there's no immediate chemistry for some raw animal magnetism but I still like her, then I'd like to keep seeing her at least for another date.

  4. She was supposed to be a one night stand, here we are 2 1/2 years later arguing about vacuums in Costco.

  5. This is my husband and me 😂 We had sex the first time we met and I thought that would be it. And now we've been married for 3 years.

  6. Had the same thing happen. She had never had a one night stand and told her cousin that I was gonna be the one before she flew back time to California. She moved back home 6 months later, we shared 7 years together until it ended last may. Neither of us wanted it to end. It’s been rough.

  7. My wife took me home from the bar 4622 days ago. It was stripper night at our local bar, guess the stripper pouring a beer off her breast into my mouth really impressed the mother of my two children enough to take me home that night lol

  8. I had a one-night stand with a friend at college after a break-up. We have been together for almost 8 years, have a kid, and she is the love of my life. Funny how it works out that way huh?

  9. No joke. My high school/college girlfriend and I were on a break. I went out with a girl who was a friend of a friend, intending to get some strange and eventually go back to my girlfriend.

  10. "Smash and dash" is now 4 years, 2 cats, a house, 12 ft skeleton in the yard, and an engagement ring on my finger. Wouldn't change it for anything!

  11. My current gf said she thought I was a "fuck boy" after we slept together on the first date. But here we are 1 year later living together.

  12. Yup, was one of those who-knows-where-this-might-go things. But she didn’t bank on what an effective honey-pot trap she had. Coming up on 21 years since that first date.

  13. Met mine at a white trash theme party 3916 days ago. The Jean shorts and tweety bird shirt were too much. We drank off-brand wapatooie and blacked out together.

  14. I think this can be applied to most things in life. If everybody wants to do something and it doesn't hurt anybody else then just do it

  15. Since I'm married I can say that hypothetically, if I were single, it would be up to my date. I'm not going to ask her for sex on the first date, but if she wants to go for it, I'm OK with it.

  16. Same. While I might find a stranger hot, no sexy feelings until there are actual feelings for me

  17. Me too. The idea of myself having sex on a first date just squicks me out. That said, no judgment to whomever does it - as long as everyone involved is of age and consenting, it’s all good.

  18. Thank goodness, I’m not alone. It seems everyone is fine with having sex right away. Guys even expect it. That’s a main reason I’m still single at 27. It’s hard for me to even get a second or third date. All because I won’t put out right away and need an emotional connection first.

  19. Same. I did some hook ups in college and gradschool and they always leave me feeling depressed and yucky. I really gotta get to know a girl for a bit to be interested.

  20. Unless you really don't like being wired that way then I wouldn't call it unfortunate. Sex is a deeply personal thing; as long as it is fully consensual you do not need to conform to anyone's ideas of normality, and that includes time to be connected with someone

  21. It took me WAY way way too long to see any response other than yes. Thank goodness I’m not the only one. Man here. No interest in getting to know someone in such a deeply physical way after talking for 1.5 hours on a date. Anticipation is really under valued nowadays. Half of the fun is the build up and there’s a tremendous amount of quickness to everything now. 29 here and I’ve struggled with this my whole life, truly thought there was something wrong with me for being so turned off by such fast intimacy. To me, the best sex ever is when I trust and care for that person. Not saying the other way is bad or wrong but nice to see others in the same boat.

  22. I almost have it the other way round - if I have sex without an emotional connection, I will manufacture an emotional connection straight away and throw myself into the relationship way too fast, then inevitably get hurt when the other person very reasonably wants to take it slower

  23. Respectable. I enjoy sex with someone more when there’s a connection, but sometimes sex without attachments scratches an itch.

  24. No for me personally, I need a strong emotional connection and a lot of trust to sleep with someone. But I won't judge anyone for having sex whenever they want, you do you

  25. I am the same way! I have no issue with people who do — I’m not against it personally. But I just can’t be attracted to someone who I don’t have an emotional connection to.

  26. Word for word what I was going to say. Consenting adults have every right to do what they're comfortable with and they will have absolutely no judgements from me. But i need a pretty sturdy foundation of trust before I go further than a kiss

  27. I'm glad this response wasn't too far down. I was getting dismayed. For me I need at least a month, maybe more depending on date frequency. And that hasn't been going so well dating as a young adult.

  28. That’s not really what the question is about - it’s more like “Would you consider the first date too soon to have made the type of connection necessary to want to bang?” It varies from person to person and from culture to culture.

  29. I tend to speak with someone a fair bit and discuss boundaries before meeting so there's a good chance sex is expected and almost mutually agreed upon by then. In such cases I have lingerie on underneath my outfit, the date is more like a confirmation to go ahead or not.

  30. Yeah... I met my wife on a dating site when I was out of town for work, and we chatted for a couple weeks before I got home and we got a chance to meet. The way we acted on our first date, you would have thought we've been going out for at least a few weeks by that point... as you said, it was more like a conformation than anything else.

  31. I'm of of a similar mindset. One night stands/casual arrangements rarely work for me. Sex for me needs to be with someone I'm comfortable with/trust. Also I'm too jealous a lover to be casually hooking up with someone if it means they'll be potentially hooking up with others too.

  32. No, not for me. Her taste is already questionable by going out with me, so a few more dates may be needed to get to know her better.

  33. Sure, but make it clear if it's a date or a one-night stand. Pump and dump bit shitty if they think they'll see you again.

  34. Rabbit, one night I was smonking weed lik3 all the weed. so many weeds and I got a tik tock from a verrry sexy sexer who wanted to some very sexy sex.

  35. Dude here: the flirting, romancing and anticipation are my favorite parts of the whole thing and make the main event waaaay more fun, IMO. While I've done the whole hookup thing before I found it less enjoyable than time spent teasing, building trust&affection, driving her crazy with lust/love and all that before sex, and even making an effort to make the sex more special/romantic without putting too much pressure on it.

  36. All my long term great relationships have ended with.. accidental? sex on the first date 😂 first one i came to his house early and he was still changing, door was open just happened 🤷🏻‍♀️ second I thought they meant we were going to have a netflix and chill moment but they thought we were going be just friends chilling so i came over no bra so yeah that happened. Married that one. 😂

  37. No, because I really don’t want to have sex with someone I barely know, no matter how much attraction there is.

  38. Personally no because I want deeper connection or at least get to know that person a bit before getting frisky with her. Edit: I am fairly introverted and nervous around unknown people so there is no way I would be relaxed enough for sex on the first date.

  39. Very unlikely. I want to get to know them. I would rather wait a while and feel for them, then just have sex. I can please myself if I really want too.

  40. i’m a no. one night stands make me feel gross and i date to find a potential partner, not to fuck around. my gf and i didn’t have sex for the first 3 weeks and it made it feel incredibly special. i appreciate her for valuing sex the same way i do. it isn’t as important as religious people blow it up to be, but i feel it’s far more intimate then a one night stand allows.

  41. The answer is yes, but it’s also no. The real truth is this, don’t go in with expectations. Pick a date idea that isn’t too expensive and can end quickly if the vibes aren’t there.

  42. Smashed immediately. 15 years later we have a family, mortgage, and a high-end vacuum. The microwave is a piece of junk. Fucking early won't help that.

  43. Did this once and now we’ve been together for 8 years… married for almost 5 and have a three year old. Be careful out there😂

  44. If it’s the first time you’re meeting the person it’s pretty risky to go to a private place with them. Even if the person is much smaller than you, you could be getting lead into a trap. Most people with bad intentions will give up after the first date.

  45. [33M] I'd honestly rather not. Sport fucking is fine and all, but a date... We're courting. I'm trying to determine if you're tolerable. Sexual incompatibility is easy to manage w/ communication.

  46. Depends. One of the best women I ever dated or knew is what many would call "an ethical slut " lots of hookups and sex, etc. First date, we had sex and it turned into a wonderful relationship

  47. For me it's a no, I need to feel safe with someone for that to happen but I'm not judging anyone who does as long as they use protection it's a personal preference

  48. I have never dated yet, but I wouldn't. I would rather be well established in a relationship before I consider it.

  49. Depends on how much you love the person. I personally think sex is best enjoyed by the person you absolutely love.

  50. No, purely because it's dangerous as fuck. You hear so many stories of crazy people that I don't feel like one night is enough to get to know someone enough to be alone with them in a room where no one knows where I am.

  51. Honestly in my experience of having sex very early into relationships until my current one it’s much better to get to know someone and fall in love with their personality and not their pussy the pussy is a nice bonus to the amazing person you get to spend your life with ✌️❤️

  52. Nah, not the first. A lot of people when jumping into dating after a break up will rush their new relationship to where their last relationship left off rather than letting it build up naturally, I’ve seen it happen many times and it’s not too healthy.

  53. Not for me, as a man in particular it’s important to me that I can reassure a woman I am not just interested in sex, which is the truth for me. If a girl has ever wanted to fool around on the first date I have either declined if the date was bad or said something to the tune of “sounds amazing, not good, but potentially amazing, so let’s wait a little and hang out some more to get to know each other first” if the date was promising.

  54. I slept with a guy on the 1st date & we’re still together 14 years later. When you know, you know, as long as everyone consents & is feeling it.

  55. If it's tinder hook-up, the only reason for the date is to make sure neither one of you is a serial killer before you go somewhere private to "scratch your itch".

  56. It’s a no from me, I have to protect myself from love bombers. First dates are strictly a ‘sniff test’. Get to know the person a little, then take some time to decide if you want to see them again.

  57. I used to be a sure why not if it happens it happens. But now I'm reconsidering that cause last person I had sex with on the first didn't seem to understand that love and sex entirely two different things. :/ Never doing that again tbh. He was moving way too fast wanting to pay my phone bill run errands with me and saying things like he thought about me all day. Like we're adults dude... It doesn't happen that fast just because we fuck. Before anyone jumps down my throat it was love bomby and not cool at all.

  58. Last love bomb guy I gave a chance to ended up stalking me when I ended things. It wasn’t a long relationship either like it was two weeks max.

  59. it's completely up to you. Don't feel compelled that you have to withhold sex because people tell you that it makes you not wife or husband material. IMO if a person treats you differently just because you have sex on the first date that is an early warning flag and you no longer need to waste your time on said person.

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