How often do you feel like you’re bothering people?

  1. I feel the same way, I feel like I’m bugging people every day. I don’t want to bother them but lately I’ve been having a hard time with standing and walking so I can’t walk to go see my daughter and it makes me sad and lonely I just don’t want to be alone

  2. If I need to go ask/tell someone something, have (I guess a bad) habit of standing there until acknowledged. Then it’s usually like “do you need me?” “Can I help you?” “….yes?”

  3. All day everyday all the time. I avoid conversations just because I feel like I'm so annoying and I don't have anything interesting to say....

  4. Same!!! Your poor internet people! I’m an introvert but I never feel like I’m bothering anyone!! Somebody somewhere wants your company I promise!!

  5. Congrats on taking action in therapy. 🙌 I used to feel this way, as a result of childhood trauma, and it is possible to change. What changes isn't necessarily that you become more interesting or less boring, but that you realize those were always lies keeping you down. And maybe that you're just around the wrong people for your interests. There are people out there that would be interested in what you're dying to talk about that people around you now may have discouraged or criticized. 💙💛💙💛

  6. I used to always feel like this but now I try to remember that it's not my job to make everyone else comfortable and I'm allowed to take up space as much as anyone.

  7. OP & everyone that has responded that they feel like this: please look up C-PTSD. What you learn could change your life.

  8. Another book that’s widely recommended by those who struggle with CPTSD is From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker. Just hearing someone write so candidly about experiences that resonate closely with my own is enough to snap me back to reality sometimes (meaning, I remember I’m allowed to take up space).

  9. I feel this so much, don't let it get to you though. There are always people out there that like you regardless (took me a damn long time to find this person but you can too!)❤️

  10. Oh all the time, nonstop. I'm a tall confident woman that's lesbian, polyamorous, and trans. Like a third of the world wants to kill me, and the other two thirds can't see around my head at the movies.

  11. Never. I work in a male dominated industry and over the past decade I’ve absorbed the confidence from lots of underwhelming men. If the most useless man in your office never feels like he’s bothering you, absorb that same confidence.

  12. I got bullied by adults and children throughout my childhood for what I’m pretty sure was undiagnosed ADHD. People made it very clear that they thought I was a nuisance and I think I still carry that because I think I’m bothering people all the time

  13. Often enough that half the time I go to post or comment on social media, I delete it because I’m pretty sure nobody cares and it’s just more noise in the void. And often enough that I hesitate before having a drink or two while out with friends because once I’m buzzed I have a harder time making the distinction between genuine interest and fake interest for the sake of politeness.

  14. I do the same thing with comments (except now!). Feeling that same way, plus some imposter syndrome keeps me from giving an asked for opinion - I’m really only active in my monthly baby bump group and I’m too hesitant to say anything on a sub that is literally my job that I’ve done for 9+ years.

  15. I used to feel this way, but I can usually sense if someone doesn’t like my energy. Plus, if they don’t want to be bothered, they’ll let me know.

  16. Bothering people happens a lot in the normal course of life. I handle it the old-fashioned way. If it's unavoidable, I say to the other person "I'm sorry to bother you, but..." then I conclude my business as quickly as possible and thank the person.

  17. Considering the fact that I feel as if my mere existence bothers other people, i’m gonna have to say all the time

  18. All the time. My job is very people oriented so I have to constantly bug about scheduling, appointments, signatures to clients and my boss.

  19. Rarely if ever. Maybe if I have to ask someone who is very busy for something, but that doesn't happen often.

  20. Growing up I’ve been told a number of times that I talk a lot, or “you sure like chatting, don’t you?” And I feel like it never really came off as a compliment.. so now I ALWAYS feel like I’m just doing too much. I occasionally ask those who know me better if I’ve “been annoying them” lately.

  21. About 99% of the time. I assume unless someone comes up to me, approaches me I am bothering them or wasting their time. I hate it. But I haven’t been able to change it.

  22. Sometimes I literally never text anyone when I absolutely NEED someone, then a week or 2 goes by and that person will text me and be like “hey are you ok? Haven’t heard from you in a bit.” And I’m like “yea, just going through some things but I’ll be ok”. And they say “why didn’t you say so and text me??”… like dude! I. DONT. Want to BOTHER you with my crap! 😭😭😭.

  23. I used to feel like this a lot, it was the most common feeling I had every single day of my life: that I was nothing but an annoyance. Therapy really helped, listening to my loved ones did wonders. After all I'm loved, I'm dear to them and was holding myself for standards that are impossible to follow. So, a lot but getting better every day

  24. so often! it's something i bought up in therapy - and even though my bff and bf have told me i'm not bothering them - my anxiety will still think I am.

  25. Every single time I ask anyone if they could possibly do something. I used to be a supervisor at my old job and I would feel awful for asking people to do their jobs. I’m currently at home with covid and asked my partner yesterday to take the dog for a walk and I APOLOGISED… why!? It’s his dog too.

  26. Theres no way to not be annoying as a woman. When we are loud we annoy when we are quiet we annoy. The presence and not qualities are what are annoying to everyone. Deep deep misogyny we are all raised in. Yet although im aware of all this i still cant help but feel annoying all the fucking time… i hate existing

  27. All the time, like everyone else here. Even my boyfriend. With the small stuff as well (him being in the grocery store, me needing something, me not asking. Or worse, me getting an anxiety attack and not saying anything) luckily this dude knows me, so I still gets me my cheese, he still helps me during an anxiety attack🥰

  28. I almost never feel like I’m a nuisance to people I don’t kno (altho I might be). But people I do kno I’m overly conscious of taking too much of their time/space/energy (even if they say I’m not a bother).

  29. I almost never feel like I’m a nuisance to people I don’t kno (altho I might be). But people I do kno I’m overly conscious of taking too much of their time/space/energy (even if they say I’m not a bother).

  30. I am introverted but it looks like I have. "Counselor open for business on my forehead ". The crazy thing is I am blessed so so much patience that I listen to people all the time. I get to know them better than they get to know themselves.

  31. All the time, it’s made me not want to get in a car as the driver anymore. Even when I’m not doing something wrong I always feel like I’m pissing someone off.

  32. Anytime I say something or do something audible, I feel like if I’m not soundless then I’m annoying people 😂

  33. Any time I talk to someone, but then I get anxiety about not saying enough. I’ve left so many messages unsent because I was too worried about bothering someone 🙃

  34. Literally all the time. My upbringing was very “children should be seen not heard” so I feel like I’m a nuisance whenever reach out to people

  35. Rarely. Mainly because I work from home and for myself therefore only have human contact a couple times a month.

  36. Literally all of the times. Every time I want to call some one. Every time I want to text someone first. Every time I'm sitting on a bench and someone walks in my general direction. Every time I sneeze or cough over 2 decibels. Every time I take more than a moment to bag my groceries. Every time I back out of a parking stall. Every time I ask a question. Ugh... just.. always..

  37. Not a woman but every day, every time I open my mouth, every time I exist in this painful world of misery. my life is a void that I attempt to fill with being loud or chatty, but backfires like a reverse gun.

  38. At work: there are only a few people that I can ask stuff without feeling like that. With friends: not that much Other situations: when I ask for something out of the ordinary, I usually feel like I am bothering

  39. Slightly more than I probably should. I’ve gotten better over years and see things in a much healthier light now. But thoughts get away from me once in awhile.

  40. All the time lol, I had a dream last night my friends told me they didn’t want to be in my life anymore because I bothered them too much. It affects me even in sleep 😔

  41. Every time I breathe I feel like I burden people with my existence. Sometimes having friends is more upsetting than being alone because my brain has convinced me that they lie about liking me

  42. I’ve recently started feeling that these past couple days. I feel overwhelmed and the feeling is eating me on the inside, and I can’t find an outlet to vent to. I feel emotionally disconnected and withdrawn, and have to realize that nobody actually cares. It sucks!

  43. All the time. Even if they remind me they had a good time or anything, my mind will just nag me over some small detail that I might have missed or been overthinking about since then. I get that way with people who are close to me and I fear being left behind/abandoned as that’s what little brain felt. It’s definitely something that I’m working on but doesn’t negate the fact that it still happens.

  44. I don’t feel like I bother people that often, but I can always tell when I am. I find it fairly obvious if somebody is bothered by me based on their body language, so I immediately stop whatever it is that I’m doing that’s bothering them.

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