I feel the same way, I feel like I’m bugging people every day. I don’t want to bother them but lately I’ve been having a hard time with standing and walking so I can’t walk to go see my daughter and it makes me sad and lonely I just don’t want to be alone
If I need to go ask/tell someone something, have (I guess a bad) habit of standing there until acknowledged. Then it’s usually like “do you need me?” “Can I help you?” “….yes?”
Congrats on taking action in therapy. 🙌 I used to feel this way, as a result of childhood trauma, and it is possible to change. What changes isn't necessarily that you become more interesting or less boring, but that you realize those were always lies keeping you down. And maybe that you're just around the wrong people for your interests. There are people out there that would be interested in what you're dying to talk about that people around you now may have discouraged or criticized. 💙💛💙💛
I used to always feel like this but now I try to remember that it's not my job to make everyone else comfortable and I'm allowed to take up space as much as anyone.
Another book that’s widely recommended by those who struggle with CPTSD is From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker. Just hearing someone write so candidly about experiences that resonate closely with my own is enough to snap me back to reality sometimes (meaning, I remember I’m allowed to take up space).
I feel this so much, don't let it get to you though. There are always people out there that like you regardless (took me a damn long time to find this person but you can too!)❤️
Oh all the time, nonstop. I'm a tall confident woman that's lesbian, polyamorous, and trans. Like a third of the world wants to kill me, and the other two thirds can't see around my head at the movies.
Never. I work in a male dominated industry and over the past decade I’ve absorbed the confidence from lots of underwhelming men. If the most useless man in your office never feels like he’s bothering you, absorb that same confidence.
I got bullied by adults and children throughout my childhood for what I’m pretty sure was undiagnosed ADHD. People made it very clear that they thought I was a nuisance and I think I still carry that because I think I’m bothering people all the time
Often enough that half the time I go to post or comment on social media, I delete it because I’m pretty sure nobody cares and it’s just more noise in the void. And often enough that I hesitate before having a drink or two while out with friends because once I’m buzzed I have a harder time making the distinction between genuine interest and fake interest for the sake of politeness.
I do the same thing with comments (except now!). Feeling that same way, plus some imposter syndrome keeps me from giving an asked for opinion - I’m really only active in my monthly baby bump group and I’m too hesitant to say anything on a sub that is literally my job that I’ve done for 9+ years.
Bothering people happens a lot in the normal course of life. I handle it the old-fashioned way. If it's unavoidable, I say to the other person "I'm sorry to bother you, but..." then I conclude my business as quickly as possible and thank the person.
Growing up I’ve been told a number of times that I talk a lot, or “you sure like chatting, don’t you?” And I feel like it never really came off as a compliment.. so now I ALWAYS feel like I’m just doing too much. I occasionally ask those who know me better if I’ve “been annoying them” lately.
About 99% of the time. I assume unless someone comes up to me, approaches me I am bothering them or wasting their time. I hate it. But I haven’t been able to change it.
Sometimes I literally never text anyone when I absolutely NEED someone, then a week or 2 goes by and that person will text me and be like “hey are you ok? Haven’t heard from you in a bit.” And I’m like “yea, just going through some things but I’ll be ok”. And they say “why didn’t you say so and text me??”… like dude! I. DONT. Want to BOTHER you with my crap! 😭😭😭.
I used to feel like this a lot, it was the most common feeling I had every single day of my life: that I was nothing but an annoyance. Therapy really helped, listening to my loved ones did wonders. After all I'm loved, I'm dear to them and was holding myself for standards that are impossible to follow. So, a lot but getting better every day
so often! it's something i bought up in therapy - and even though my bff and bf have told me i'm not bothering them - my anxiety will still think I am.
Every single time I ask anyone if they could possibly do something. I used to be a supervisor at my old job and I would feel awful for asking people to do their jobs. I’m currently at home with covid and asked my partner yesterday to take the dog for a walk and I APOLOGISED… why!? It’s his dog too.
Theres no way to not be annoying as a woman. When we are loud we annoy when we are quiet we annoy. The presence and not qualities are what are annoying to everyone. Deep deep misogyny we are all raised in. Yet although im aware of all this i still cant help but feel annoying all the fucking time… i hate existing
All the time, like everyone else here. Even my boyfriend. With the small stuff as well (him being in the grocery store, me needing something, me not asking. Or worse, me getting an anxiety attack and not saying anything) luckily this dude knows me, so I still gets me my cheese, he still helps me during an anxiety attack🥰
I almost never feel like I’m a nuisance to people I don’t kno (altho I might be). But people I do kno I’m overly conscious of taking too much of their time/space/energy (even if they say I’m not a bother).
I almost never feel like I’m a nuisance to people I don’t kno (altho I might be). But people I do kno I’m overly conscious of taking too much of their time/space/energy (even if they say I’m not a bother).
I am introverted but it looks like I have. "Counselor open for business on my forehead ". The crazy thing is I am blessed so so much patience that I listen to people all the time. I get to know them better than they get to know themselves.
All the time, it’s made me not want to get in a car as the driver anymore. Even when I’m not doing something wrong I always feel like I’m pissing someone off.
Any time I talk to someone, but then I get anxiety about not saying enough. I’ve left so many messages unsent because I was too worried about bothering someone 🙃
Literally all of the times. Every time I want to call some one. Every time I want to text someone first. Every time I'm sitting on a bench and someone walks in my general direction. Every time I sneeze or cough over 2 decibels. Every time I take more than a moment to bag my groceries. Every time I back out of a parking stall. Every time I ask a question. Ugh... just.. always..
Not a woman but every day, every time I open my mouth, every time I exist in this painful world of misery. my life is a void that I attempt to fill with being loud or chatty, but backfires like a reverse gun.
At work: there are only a few people that I can ask stuff without feeling like that. With friends: not that much Other situations: when I ask for something out of the ordinary, I usually feel like I am bothering
Slightly more than I probably should. I’ve gotten better over years and see things in a much healthier light now. But thoughts get away from me once in awhile.
All the time lol, I had a dream last night my friends told me they didn’t want to be in my life anymore because I bothered them too much. It affects me even in sleep 😔
Every time I breathe I feel like I burden people with my existence. Sometimes having friends is more upsetting than being alone because my brain has convinced me that they lie about liking me
I’ve recently started feeling that these past couple days. I feel overwhelmed and the feeling is eating me on the inside, and I can’t find an outlet to vent to. I feel emotionally disconnected and withdrawn, and have to realize that nobody actually cares. It sucks!
All the time. Even if they remind me they had a good time or anything, my mind will just nag me over some small detail that I might have missed or been overthinking about since then. I get that way with people who are close to me and I fear being left behind/abandoned as that’s what little brain felt. It’s definitely something that I’m working on but doesn’t negate the fact that it still happens.
I don’t feel like I bother people that often, but I can always tell when I am. I find it fairly obvious if somebody is bothered by me based on their body language, so I immediately stop whatever it is that I’m doing that’s bothering them.
All
I second this. couldn't put it any better.
My immediate thought when I read this title was "I'm depressed, so literally always."
100% me. It's why I'm pretty much a hermit since I don't want to feel like I'm being a bother.
This is literally what I said in my brain before opening the post 😂
Yeah me too at this point in my life I've stopped talking to anyone and everyone
I feel the same way, I feel like I’m bugging people every day. I don’t want to bother them but lately I’ve been having a hard time with standing and walking so I can’t walk to go see my daughter and it makes me sad and lonely I just don’t want to be alone
Same 😭 If it wasn't for my child, I'd def be suicidal that's how bad it used to be for me 😔
If I need to go ask/tell someone something, have (I guess a bad) habit of standing there until acknowledged. Then it’s usually like “do you need me?” “Can I help you?” “….yes?”
Yup. As a rule, I’m apologizing for my existence.
Same lol the joys of anxiety
Even in my own home.
A lot of us are the same
I just thought the exact same thing when I saw a post and then I click here to see it's already written.
This, even when I'm alone.
Me too!
This but also I counteract that thought with "Well let's make it their problem. I am only being me."
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All day everyday all the time. I avoid conversations just because I feel like I'm so annoying and I don't have anything interesting to say....
All the time.
Amen!
What? Never. What the...?
Your self-confidence gives me life. :)
How on earth do you never feel like this? Can you bottle your confidence and give me some?
Same!!! Your poor internet people! I’m an introvert but I never feel like I’m bothering anyone!! Somebody somewhere wants your company I promise!!
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Congrats on taking action in therapy. 🙌 I used to feel this way, as a result of childhood trauma, and it is possible to change. What changes isn't necessarily that you become more interesting or less boring, but that you realize those were always lies keeping you down. And maybe that you're just around the wrong people for your interests. There are people out there that would be interested in what you're dying to talk about that people around you now may have discouraged or criticized. 💙💛💙💛
Any tips from therapy?
Lucky you got therapy
Any tips from therapy?
I used to always feel like this but now I try to remember that it's not my job to make everyone else comfortable and I'm allowed to take up space as much as anyone.
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OP & everyone that has responded that they feel like this: please look up C-PTSD. What you learn could change your life.
Another book that’s widely recommended by those who struggle with CPTSD is From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker. Just hearing someone write so candidly about experiences that resonate closely with my own is enough to snap me back to reality sometimes (meaning, I remember I’m allowed to take up space).
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I feel this so much, don't let it get to you though. There are always people out there that like you regardless (took me a damn long time to find this person but you can too!)❤️
I'm naturally loud too, fortunately volume control is a thing ;)
Oh all the time, nonstop. I'm a tall confident woman that's lesbian, polyamorous, and trans. Like a third of the world wants to kill me, and the other two thirds can't see around my head at the movies.
Unfortunately more than I care to admit, I'm always worries that I'll be bugging people
Me too
Never. I work in a male dominated industry and over the past decade I’ve absorbed the confidence from lots of underwhelming men. If the most useless man in your office never feels like he’s bothering you, absorb that same confidence.
Every single day I interact with a person
I got bullied by adults and children throughout my childhood for what I’m pretty sure was undiagnosed ADHD. People made it very clear that they thought I was a nuisance and I think I still carry that because I think I’m bothering people all the time
Any time I’m with people who aren’t my direct family/partner/children. Even with them sometimes
I’m sorry to bother you with another notification on your device, but every waking minute.
constantly
Often enough that half the time I go to post or comment on social media, I delete it because I’m pretty sure nobody cares and it’s just more noise in the void. And often enough that I hesitate before having a drink or two while out with friends because once I’m buzzed I have a harder time making the distinction between genuine interest and fake interest for the sake of politeness.
I do the same thing with comments (except now!). Feeling that same way, plus some imposter syndrome keeps me from giving an asked for opinion - I’m really only active in my monthly baby bump group and I’m too hesitant to say anything on a sub that is literally my job that I’ve done for 9+ years.
I used to feel this way, but I can usually sense if someone doesn’t like my energy. Plus, if they don’t want to be bothered, they’ll let me know.
Never. But honestly even if I do feel like I might be bothering someone idgaf they'll get over it.
On a daily basis to be honest.
At work, all the time. But then again I'm still learning.
Bothering people? How do you mean?
Bothering people happens a lot in the normal course of life. I handle it the old-fashioned way. If it's unavoidable, I say to the other person "I'm sorry to bother you, but..." then I conclude my business as quickly as possible and thank the person.
always they even call ne selfish lol i am too self concious i just want new friends lol
100% all the time, just by being in the room or being available on messaging services or friends lists, awake or asleep
Basically only when I'm intentionally trying to bother someone.
Constantly
Every time I talk to someone online or irl
All the time. I'm working on being better about that.
Considering the fact that I feel as if my mere existence bothers other people, i’m gonna have to say all the time
all the time…i don’t text anybody i ghosted all of them…
All the time. My job is very people oriented so I have to constantly bug about scheduling, appointments, signatures to clients and my boss.
Rarely if ever. Maybe if I have to ask someone who is very busy for something, but that doesn't happen often.
In almost every interaction I have.
All the time!
Growing up I’ve been told a number of times that I talk a lot, or “you sure like chatting, don’t you?” And I feel like it never really came off as a compliment.. so now I ALWAYS feel like I’m just doing too much. I occasionally ask those who know me better if I’ve “been annoying them” lately.
About 99% of the time. I assume unless someone comes up to me, approaches me I am bothering them or wasting their time. I hate it. But I haven’t been able to change it.
Sometimes I literally never text anyone when I absolutely NEED someone, then a week or 2 goes by and that person will text me and be like “hey are you ok? Haven’t heard from you in a bit.” And I’m like “yea, just going through some things but I’ll be ok”. And they say “why didn’t you say so and text me??”… like dude! I. DONT. Want to BOTHER you with my crap! 😭😭😭.
I used to feel like this a lot, it was the most common feeling I had every single day of my life: that I was nothing but an annoyance. Therapy really helped, listening to my loved ones did wonders. After all I'm loved, I'm dear to them and was holding myself for standards that are impossible to follow. So, a lot but getting better every day
Whenever I'm around people.
so often! it's something i bought up in therapy - and even though my bff and bf have told me i'm not bothering them - my anxiety will still think I am.
A lot , even when texting my friends. Maybe it’s just me through
All the time.
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Hello
Every single time I ask anyone if they could possibly do something. I used to be a supervisor at my old job and I would feel awful for asking people to do their jobs. I’m currently at home with covid and asked my partner yesterday to take the dog for a walk and I APOLOGISED… why!? It’s his dog too.
Theres no way to not be annoying as a woman. When we are loud we annoy when we are quiet we annoy. The presence and not qualities are what are annoying to everyone. Deep deep misogyny we are all raised in. Yet although im aware of all this i still cant help but feel annoying all the fucking time… i hate existing
Since I was born
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Hello
??? Almost never unless I really need something immediately from a person that’s clearly busy.
Everyday, but likely its due to my social anxiety
Every day, all day, after 2 texts in a row, when I talk too much, when I ask more than 4 questions
Every moment of every day.
Always in some kind of way
Constantly. Rather anytime I'm interacting with another person
When im not paying anything back for their effort.
almost every time I speak to anyone
Every time I talk
Never since I actually don’t
At least once a day.
All the time icl
24/7
Not nearly as much as they bother me
I'm never not bothering people.
All the time, like everyone else here. Even my boyfriend. With the small stuff as well (him being in the grocery store, me needing something, me not asking. Or worse, me getting an anxiety attack and not saying anything) luckily this dude knows me, so I still gets me my cheese, he still helps me during an anxiety attack🥰
Every day
I almost never feel like I’m a nuisance to people I don’t kno (altho I might be). But people I do kno I’m overly conscious of taking too much of their time/space/energy (even if they say I’m not a bother).
I almost never feel like I’m a nuisance to people I don’t kno (altho I might be). But people I do kno I’m overly conscious of taking too much of their time/space/energy (even if they say I’m not a bother).
All. The. Time
Every single day
I am introverted but it looks like I have. "Counselor open for business on my forehead ". The crazy thing is I am blessed so so much patience that I listen to people all the time. I get to know them better than they get to know themselves.
Every time I need something.
All the time.
I usually don’t tbh. I mostly am the one being bothered and I hate to.
All the time. Even when I’m not around/talking to someone.
Use to all of the time until i started thinking about it the other way. People are always bothering me now.
All the time
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Hello
Alllllll the time. But it’s a personality thing so I do my best to deal. Lol
I used to but now realize how that's programed into us as women.
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Hello
About 75% of the time if I had to put a number on it
Always
Literally all the time, i’m so annoying
A lot. Yay, anxiety! 😀
Never. I know am awesome and essential and am super loved by a bunch of people
All the time, it’s made me not want to get in a car as the driver anymore. Even when I’m not doing something wrong I always feel like I’m pissing someone off.
Anytime I say something or do something audible, I feel like if I’m not soundless then I’m annoying people 😂
Any time I talk to someone, but then I get anxiety about not saying enough. I’ve left so many messages unsent because I was too worried about bothering someone 🙃
Whenever I'm speaking to them or engaging with them in any way
Rarely, even when I am actually bothering someone. :') I need to be told.
Literally all the time. My upbringing was very “children should be seen not heard” so I feel like I’m a nuisance whenever reach out to people
When ever I’m thinking of starting a conversation with someone
Rarely. Mainly because I work from home and for myself therefore only have human contact a couple times a month.
whenever i’m around someone
Pretty much all the time
That's a very good question..... Almost always, even if they're my closest friends, even if we chat like once a week 🤗
I’ve basically stopped engaging in any extraneous conversations with people.
Every. Damn. Day.
Used to be all the time, I still feel that way every now and then, but I think therapy helped me work on that
Absolutely never.
Literally all of the times. Every time I want to call some one. Every time I want to text someone first. Every time I'm sitting on a bench and someone walks in my general direction. Every time I sneeze or cough over 2 decibels. Every time I take more than a moment to bag my groceries. Every time I back out of a parking stall. Every time I ask a question. Ugh... just.. always..
All the time. Literally all the time. It's why I don't talk to anyone anymore, they're all busy with more important things.
Every damn day man…. My existence feels bothersome
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Hello
All the damn time!. I honestly dont think I have ever started a friendly conversation or initiated a friendship in my life.
Not a woman but every day, every time I open my mouth, every time I exist in this painful world of misery. my life is a void that I attempt to fill with being loud or chatty, but backfires like a reverse gun.
If I would measure it in water I’d probably say around the volume of the The Pacific Ocean
Almost always
Every min of the day.
24/7
often
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Hello
To often, to the point I know I shouldn’t feel that way but can’t help it
Too often ?
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Hello
Basically every waking second of my existence.
Almost every minute of the day it’s on my mind for sure.
every second of every day
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Hello
Constantly. No matter how many times I am reassured, I do not believe them.
At work: there are only a few people that I can ask stuff without feeling like that. With friends: not that much Other situations: when I ask for something out of the ordinary, I usually feel like I am bothering
only always
All the time
Anytime I reach out to anyone besides my mom.
when do not?
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Hello
Every time I am near anyone or when I talk to anyone.
Always, which is why I keep my issues to myself most of the time
I don't talk to people because I feel like I'm bothering them.
I bother my mom I think that’s enough
All the dang time
All the time!
Slightly more than I probably should. I’ve gotten better over years and see things in a much healthier light now. But thoughts get away from me once in awhile.
All the time lol, I had a dream last night my friends told me they didn’t want to be in my life anymore because I bothered them too much. It affects me even in sleep 😔
24/7/365
Every time I initiate the conversation or interaction with someone
All the timeeeeeee
Even when I’m alone I feel like I must be bothering someone.
Every time I breathe I feel like I burden people with my existence. Sometimes having friends is more upsetting than being alone because my brain has convinced me that they lie about liking me
A lot tbh
All the time. I never call anyone because I feel so insignificant.
I’ve recently started feeling that these past couple days. I feel overwhelmed and the feeling is eating me on the inside, and I can’t find an outlet to vent to. I feel emotionally disconnected and withdrawn, and have to realize that nobody actually cares. It sucks!
All the time. Even if they remind me they had a good time or anything, my mind will just nag me over some small detail that I might have missed or been overthinking about since then. I get that way with people who are close to me and I fear being left behind/abandoned as that’s what little brain felt. It’s definitely something that I’m working on but doesn’t negate the fact that it still happens.
I don’t feel like I bother people that often, but I can always tell when I am. I find it fairly obvious if somebody is bothered by me based on their body language, so I immediately stop whatever it is that I’m doing that’s bothering them.
90% of the time.
Constantly.
All day, every day
70% of the time
With my constant people pleasing anxiety…all the time. I feel like I’m never welcome/annoying everyone.