Mom died suddenly last month. Any advice you guys may have in hindsight?

  1. Don’t judge yourself for how you grieve. Do what you need to do to process. It’s ok to not be okay. You’re not supposed to be okay right now. Feel all of the feelings, or DONT feel them. Just take it day by day and do your best.

  2. My mom passed away suddenly in March, and I fully relate to the clouded mind thing. I couldn’t focus on anything or remember much for the first month, people in my family kept forgetting things.

  3. Give yourself time. Last year my mom died at 51, I was 20. While it wasn’t sudden, there was four years of “lead up” with her battle with cancer, it felt sudden when the moment came.

  4. Not OP, but I lost my mom suddenly a few months ago and it feels really comforting to read that the memories come back. I could hardly remember anything and that was really scaring me. But lately memories are starting to trickle in. Anyway, thank you for sharing, and wishing everyone in this thread, including the OP, healing and warm memories and hugs. 🤍

  5. I'm very sorry for your loss. The cloudiness you're experiencing is definitely normal, and it will likely go away with time. When my mom died, I felt like all I could remember were the bad memories of her sick and dying, and I worried I wouldn't be able to remember her otherwise. But that's all the trauma processing. With time, I was able to remember her before she was sick, and I feel like I get new, happy memories surfacing all the time now 3 years out from her death.

  6. We have very similar experiences. My mom was 52, I was 23 and it was a sudden death. I found a grief support group that helped me quite a bit. I was able to save a voicemail to hear my mom’s voice.

  7. Hi there. I was 23 when my mom passed. I think my biggest regret is not properly unpacking and leaning into my grief. I distracted it away, and it’s quite a beautiful yet heartbreaking life experience. It’s necessary , and the more you tend to and are gentle to yourself during this time, the better off you will be. The more flourished, mature, wise you.

  8. My mom died eight months ago unexpected. A lot of people threw things at me to help, but only one thing really stuck.

  9. My mom died suddenly a week ago and I feel the same. The trauma of it has clouded my memory and then that just makes me more sad.

  10. I hope the memories keep coming back to us. I feel like it’s starting to get better for me. Slowly but surely.

  11. I’m so sorry for your loss. I think journaling is a great idea. You could also do voice recordings on your phone and back them up to the cloud.

  12. Sorry ❤️ mine was 42 and I was 17. I needed and did grief therapy (emotion-focused) for years. Now, I need to switch over to CBT to reverse all my negative thoughts.

  13. For me this was the most painful event of my life. When the divorce came it was like stubbing a toe. The pain will lessen with time. . Exception is death of a child.

  14. My dad died suddenly 3 months ago, so I'm right there with you. I feel like I'm in a fog still, just kind of going day by day. It's getting much better. That first month was like near constant PTSD and panic attacks, but they've subsided and now I only get them if it's late and night and quiet and I'm laying in bed, it creeps back up and is hard to deal with and I have to try and distract myself to fall asleep.

  15. I'm so sorry for your loss, my mother died last year at age 59, it was quite sudden, over the course of a month she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and then passed, by sounds of things your case may be similar.

  16. Like other people are saying, I believe the most important things are to give yourself time and don’t judge yourself. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, everyone is different. I’m sorry for your loss, it really sucks to lose a loved one before their time should have come.

  17. So sorry for your loss, i lost my mother 2 months ago to cancer she passed away really quickly, there are days better than others, its still really hard, small things really get me emotional because i remember her and knowing she wont be there with me no more, its not been that long for me so i dont really have much advice that i could give you, but what can i tell you dont hold any emotions to yourself let them all out, if you feel like crying just let it all out, and always keep her close to your heart she will always be there, i hope you find comfort and peace, sending my prayers to you much love!

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