I don’t know why, but sometimes responding to casual, friendly texts just feels like a monumental task.

  1. BD and ASD team up to make it to where I do not require daily interactions with most people, or even weekly/monthly, to feel our friendship is fine. I have one singular friend I communicate with every day, I work a fairly social job and consider my coworkers my friends, I speak at length every day with my children, and my social battery is just not set up to do more. I used to feel bad about this, but over time, I’ve learned that it is what it is, and forcing myself to be social leads to an uptick in anxiety, depression, and general exhaustion. I like my time to recover, whether I’m at baseline or depressed.

  2. I have no friend that I talk to every day, or even reliably every week except for my dad and my fiancé. I used to feel guilty and blame my disorder, but I realized a few months ago that my friends and I are comfortable with this and close regardless. I’ll have hour long phone calls to catch up and share life events and I’ll write thoughtful letters. That’s what I want stable, and it’s manageable when in a depressive phase (at least the letters are).

  3. Thank you for such a thoughtful and personal response. I think especially with the point you made about what relationships may not be sustainable, it’s something I needed to hear even though I probably don’t want to acknowledge that. My friends are understanding, and I always think it still hurts them when I just disappear, but I’ve been doing it less often, and for less time, and perhaps it may be time to actually openly say “hey, I’m not having so much fun here, and I’m sorry I can’t give you a proper response to what you just said. But I have read your messages and I appreciate them.”

  4. sameeee the maintainence makes so much sense. sometimes i see a text, be happy that they texted me but just cant get myself to reply, not even an ok or hi back

  5. I send cards. Or gifs. Or jokes. I put some thought into them so they’re relevant and affectionate to the person I’m sending them too. They might not be a thousand words but at least they say ‘Hey, I am thinking of you.’

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