My(18M) mom(40F) wants to go out with my friend(18M)

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  2. So gross and inappropriate. I’m sorry your mother thinks it’s okay to put you, and most importantly your friend, in this situation. It’s very predator like.

  3. Warn your friend. You cannot change your mothers plans, she does not sound like a healthy person but this does not reflect on you, you are better than her.

  4. I told her that it makes me feel uncomfortable but she said she isn’t doing anything wrong since he’s legal.

  5. your mom is a whole predator, tell her to seek therapy cause no 40y/o in their right mind would EVER want to date a barely out of highschool 18y/o

  6. Seriously. I'm 32, my brothers best friend we grew up with is 22 & Chris Hemsworth good looking... I swipe away like crazy every time he posts a shirtless pic on Instagram. It's just SO silly! My interpretation of the feeling I get is basically, *'Gross. Stop trying to be a model little brother, you're dumb.'

  7. If I were your friend I'd block her everywhere and never come over to your place. Talk to him and let him know your mum's intentions. I'm hoping for everyone's sake he's wanting to give your mum a wide berth.

  8. That is disgusting .I am 43, I have a 18 year old and I have never nor would I EVER look or see his friends I've known since they were children in any way but that, CHILDREN. That's a pedophile to me. When I was 14 I babysat for a 10 year old boy, only 4 year difference in age. I saw him years later him 31, Me 35 I still saw him as the 10 year old I played Mario cart with not a 31 year old man and most certainly not a hey he is a good looking man and legal now. Just eww.

  9. It’s gross on its own that it’s your mother and best friend but it’s even worse that she’s known him since he was a child and watched him grow. You should tell his parents of what your mother is planning on doing and let him know in advice so he’s not blindsided by your mother. I’m sorry you’ve been put into the middle of this. Hopefully his parents and him know how to figure a way around your mum being a creep

  10. I haven’t told him yet but I talked to her and she said I’m making a big deal out of it when it shouldn’t have to be.

  11. Tell his parents then tell him also tell her that your going to tell other family members so she doesn't go for any of your male cousins friends

  12. When did he turn 18? Cause that would be awfully convenient. Also, are you sure they haven’t been together prior to him turning 18? She could be making it look like she just started showing interest…Just something to think about.

  13. Tell your friend’s parents and your friend. Sorry but your mum knew him since he was 9, so a child. Your mum waited for him to be 18, and is now making her move. It is predatory and pedophilic.

  14. That’s a shit parent AND a shit person combo there. Warn your friend. Go LC or NC with your mom. There’s no way she hasn’t had problematic behavior in the past and just all of a sudden thinks it’s alright to approach not only an 18 yr old at the age of 40, but your own child’s childhood friend that they have known since they were in elementary school. Yikes

  15. This is creepy, I am 38 and my son is 15, it's like me dating my son's friend in a couple years... Just... No... That's not normal, that's predatory , if it was reversed and a man had known his daughters friend from 9yrs old and then dated her when she turned 18... How would that go down?

  16. First off, speak to your mother, tell her you are not comfortable with this at all, and that if she follows through on her plan she will have done serious and possibly irreparable damage to her relationship with you. Next, warn your friend and tell him that if he even entertains the idea, your friendship is over. Asking your mother to not date your friends is a perfectly reasonable and valid boundary to have, especially as she has known your friend since he was a literal child.

  17. Agree with everything. Not dating your kid's childhood friends should just be a given. The fact that he has to request this is just... eww. There's only 1 thing a 40 year old woman would want from an 18 yr old, and it's sickening. Gross, what a nasty pervert. I sincerely hope the kid laughs in her face and then tells his parents.

  18. Your mum is a groomer. Since your friend is legal age now you can't really stop them if they want to do this, but please talk to your friend. Not judgementally, just that you're worried and that maybe he should talk to some people about this.

  19. That’s not okay and tell your mother to knock it off. She’s known y’all since you were young so for her to start up with that is nasty and I feel like she’s only asking cause he’s 18, these feelings didn’t just suddenly spawn.

  20. Legally speaking, there is nothing wrong with it in the US, and I generally shrug at age gaps so long as it it between two consenting adults, but…… the circumstances and optics surrounding this are throwing up red flags everywhere for me.

  21. Would she be comfortable if you decided to ask out one of her friends? I think not… Im sorry she’s putting you in this position. It’s really uncomfortable and hard for you. I hope she comes to her senses quick.

  22. Is your mother going through some kind of crisis? Because it's inappropriate in a few ways. First, YOUR FRIEND....and second she's old enough to be his mom.

  23. This is super predatory ew ew ew. Tell your friend's parents and tbh full on shame your mom for this.

  24. Tell your mom that this will make you extremely uncomfortable and it’s also inappropriate behavior on her part. Be honest and be blunt.

  25. Remind your mom that it’s not okay whatsoever to do so. This is a line no parent should ever cross, I’m so sorry that you have found yourself in this situation. If you live with her and this continues to be a problem, I recommend moving out.

  26. It might be helpful to explain to each of them, separately, some of the drawbacks: 1) they are likely to have nothing in common. What music does he like to listen to? What music does she like to listen to? What hobbies do they each have? They will share no cultural touchstones or pop culture references or life experiences. "Where were you when the towers fell?" will not have the same resonance for him as it will for her. 2) No one will accept them. Societal pressure will be strong and harsh. You will not be happy. His parents will hate her. They will be isolated and lack a support system. 3) Maturity levels. He's not even legal to DRINK. He needs to be goofy, make errors, and have fun. There will be some dumb decisions in his immediate future, but also the freedom to do things on a whim; you guys should be doing things like taking road trips, spontaneously going to sports events, even flying to spring break, getting sloppy drunk and having the occasional one night stand. Where does she fit in with this? Unless she's one of the one night stands, all she will do is be an albatross around his neck. 4) Power imbalance. She has money and life experience. Even if she doesn't mean to, she will control and manipulate him. It'd be like a 16 yo babysitter "dating" a 7 yo. You just know more and you know how to push someone young and less confident into doing what you want.

  27. Gross. Like so freaking gross. I'm 37 and the thought of being with anyone that age is so gross. I would tell his parents and him. Legally (and sadly) nothing can be done because "he is considered an adult at 18". If your friend decides to pursue your mom as well, find a new one. I would refuse to call my BFF my father in law.

  28. As a 25 YEAR OLD woman, the idea of dating an 18 year old guy is so weird to me - the difference in emotional and mental maturity between the two ages cannot be overstated, I can’t imagine having an equal and satisfying relationship with someone so young. 40 vs 18 feels just insane.

  29. Your mom is a borderline pedo goddamn. I even doubt she developed feelings just now that he turned 18, god know for how long she waited to throw the milf bait

  30. I know someone this actually happened to, my friend was at the time 18 years old, and her football trainer, a male in his late 40's. The guy has a daughter on 18 years old, needless to say she was furious at my friend for falling for her football coach, it's been 7 years since then by now, and they're still happily together, so everyone of my friends and family has just learned to look past it when they're around. But when we're alone we do discuss the elephant in the room.

  31. If she's known him since he was 9, I worry she's been grooming him. Have you seen anything that's been unsettling? She's a predator.... You need to protect your friend. Men are just as susceptible to grooming, especially by someone they trust.

  32. Technically she's not doing anything wrong. There's relationships like this all the time. However what is wrong is the fact that he is your friend and she's known him nine years. The disturbing part is knowing how long she's known him the possibility of the inappropriate touching is scary. If she doesn't care about your feelings tell your friend. If he acts the same go to his parents. If all else fails you could always go to the police and explain the situation and the possibility of grooming, which is illegal. I know it's extreme but so is the situation. I'm sorry this has happened to you and hope for the best.

  33. Oh c’mon, maybe it’s a bit weird but you will used to it. If your friend don’t want it than no problem. If he don’t mind than give this birds a chance, maybe your best friend will be your step father 😀

  34. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through. A parent’s first instinct should be to protect their children and your mother is failing at that in this instance.

  35. Explain to her that if she does this. That there will be consequences and one of them is that you will go no contact for the rest of her life. Explain to her that it's inappropriate and that she will regret losing you as a son.

  36. Tell her you DONT support that at all! Your mom is fucked up and selfish, im so so sorry op. Would your mom be okay if you start dating her single friends?? Ask her that and see if she would be okay (if she would, then oh boy...). Tell her if she doesnt back off, you will call his mother and warn her, that her son is in danger of a pedo (maybe dont use those words, but its true!). Also tell her that if she does this, you will never forgive her.

  37. This is so. yuck.. tell ur mom if she does that you’ll move out and never speak to her again bc it’s fkn weird

  38. That is really creepy. I guess it’s good that she spoke to you first. If you let her know it makes you uncomfortable and she persists, that says a lot.

  39. So she's known your pal since he was 9? That's paedo behaviour, tell your mate and his parents, that's dirty.

  40. Get the fuck out of that house and away from your creep of a mother as soon as possible. Please advice your friend to not get himself involved with a woman that could easily be his mother, not out of respect for you or your friendship, but because she will take advantage of him.

  41. Your mom is a predator and that sucks. The advice to speak to his parents is good advice but also just tread carefully. Get it in writing? Text? Your mom needs to fully understand what she’s doing is wrong.

  42. My guess is your mom is looking to "scratch that itch." You need to have a conversation with your mom that she can't date your friends.

  43. I would tell his parents even if they're consenting adults if he isn't a fully independent adult on his own. He is still a child reliant on his parents. And the fact that she's known him since he was a young child is awful.

  44. I would say "mom how would you feel if I had a 40 year old girlfriend? Have you always been crushing on children? I can't bring my underage friends around you now. Can you please seek therapy?" This is not a thing to tread lightly about. I'm so sorry your mom thinks anything about this is appropriate.

  45. Your mom is gross and needs to leave your friends alone and date someone her own age. Tell her absolutely not. Hard stop. Also if she’s known him as a child that’s all kinds of grooming and pedo shit.

  46. This is gross:: sorry but your mother is a predator… what on earth is she going to have in common with a child the same age as hers? This is madness.. I get your friend is technically an adult but that’s just wrong on so many levels!

  47. This is gross:: sorry but your mother is a predator… what on earth is she going to have in common with a child the same age as hers? This is madness.. I get your friend is technically an adult but that’s just wrong on so many levels!

  48. Oh geez, I’m so sorry! That must be so hard to deal with. I could not fathom seeing my son’s friends this way… like EVER! I agree with others advice. You should tell your mom that this is not correct behavior and that it’s embarrassing that you as HER CHILD will have to warn his friends that your mom is on the prowl. That you can’t look at her the same and if she had any redeeming quality as a parent, she will instead head to a shrink instead of hitting on your friends. Warn her you’re going to tell your friends parents.

  49. I would let her know if she does this you will from this point on consider her a groomer and predator. Maybe even let her know that you would never feel comfortable having her future grandchildren around her if she was willing to be with someone romantically she met as a child. May sound harsh but may get what this actually is through her head. Just my take, I’m sorry this is happening to you.

  50. Tell the old lady to stay in her lane. It has to be heartbreaking when your Mom turns out to he a wackjob.

  51. Your mother does not "have feelings" for him that is bullshit. She just wants to fuck him. No intelligent 40 year old woman would honestly think anything could come out of that relationship.

  52. That is not okay, and given that she knew him when y'all were kids makes her appear predatory. Tell your friend ASAP, tell your mom that it's inappropriate, and do what you can to protect you and your friend.

  53. I dated a guy whose ex did this very thing. She even subsequently had a child by her son’s former best friend. Everyone finally just accepted the situation but the relationship didn’t last. It was gross.

  54. Ask her to set you up with one of her friends, and if you can think of one of her friends and talk about her the same way she talked about her feelings for him.

  55. I'm 40, and even though I feel like I'm much younger sometimes, ain't no way in hell I'd voluntarily spend my free time with an 18 year old that I'm not related to. Much less date an 18 yo.

  56. I don't think there is anything you can say to your mother( wouldn't call her Mom)that is going to discourage her. Contact your friend and his parents then have them contact the police and file stalking charges on her. Since she admitted to you that she has been eyeing him up since you were nine, that's a sign of pedophilia,and no police jurisdiction I know of will take it lightly. If your friend avoids her advances,she may turn her attention to another unfortunate young man. As for her not seeing the error in her thinking and saying you are over reacting,that is a form of mind game called Gaslighting,or getting someone to believe something that is untrue as truth. She definitely shows signs of mental Instability,however trying to get her to seek help will be both useless and an utter waste of time since she doesn't believe she is in the wrong. Take care of yourself and let your friend know asap. Good Luck.

  57. Sooo, your mom wants some 18 yr old dick? Honestly, knowing that your friend will be boning your mom is highly uncomfortable!! Knowing that she sucks his cock and rides him like a surfboard! wow... I would NOT be friends with him.. now if your mom is hot hot, then ask if you can watch lol

  58. I would start by telling her how you feel about it then ask her if she would like it if you started having relationships with her crowd. If she doesn’t recognize you uneasiness then start the grey rock approach and stop all communication and seek some therapy to help be there for her when she gets hurt as it will happen. Good luck with this one.

  59. It's one thing for someone to hook up, but that she actually sees an 18 year old male as a compatible partner suggests a serious problem with her mentality and maturity.

  60. Your mom is a fucking predator. Tell her if she tries you're going to tell your friends parents. You may just want to tell them now. This isn't something an adult drops on a teenager without laying the groundwork.

  61. Your mom is a pedophile and needs to grow the fuck up. What the fuck can an 18 year old CHILD do for a 40 year old GROWN ASS WOMAN? People like that make me SICK

  62. Omg. That’s honestly disturbing. Not uncomfortable. Like straight up not okay. Do you have anyone to tell? A dad, grandparent, or anyone older who would understand how messed up this is? Generally you wont find many people okay with the “but it’s legal argument”.

  63. Tell her there are millions of people on the planet and that she doesn’t have the right to troll through your friends for a potential hookup. Also tell her that that her creeping on a kid she’s known since he was a child are giving out pedo vibes. WTF! If this was your dad creeping on a young girl, it would be disgusting also.

  64. I’m sorry to hear that she should not be placing you in such situations. And worse she’s seen him grow up which would normally make people see him as a grown kid not the next date. She definitely needs to understand barriers and there’s a lot of things wrong in this picture

  65. Whats sad, is that I suspect they're fucking behind his back, they just want it to be official now because they're tired of hiding it

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